In this episode of Chloe King, everyone gets to play dress up (meanwhile Amy is like, “What took you guys so long?”) and goes on dates which range from “awkward” to “sweet” to “totally dangerous and stupid.”
Parallels: Kiss Block
First, as a lot of television likes to do, there are a lot of parallels and comparisons in this episode. First and foremost is how Alek and Chloe both get interrupted during their potential makeout sessions. First, Chloe pushes Alek away from some girl, before he impatiently tells her the girl is Mai, because they can’t all “recklessly dates humans” like her. Sheesh, you’re the ones with retractable claws.
But the sadder version of this is when Brian tries to kiss Chloe after a romantic evening and she pulls away crying and then runs away. Seriously, this storyline is so annoying in terms of the deadend drama they have going for it. I just realized they did a similar thing in Pushing Daisies, where Ned and Chuck couldn’t touch because if he touched her, she would die. But that was different because he saved her first, they both knew about the problem and worked around it, but even then the reason it was tolerable was because there was so much else going on, and the characters cared for each other and already knew about their cursed relationship. If Pushing Daisies can find a way to do it without annoying me, why can’t Chloe King?
Also another thing I hate about this? It implies that dating outside of your “race” could lead to you becoming a murderer/dying. Ugh. Not a fan of your secret racist implications, however unintended they might’ve been.
Parallels: Dates All Around
Chloe has a date with Brian! And Chloe’s mom has a date with some contractor guy (which was the only non-doomed date). And Alek has a kind-of date with that Mai girl. And Amy kind of has a date with her new boyfriend, although I personally wouldn’t count that…
Totally Awkward: Bringing Your Girlfriend While You Cheat at Gambling
Like, really? Really. That just sounds like so many bad ideas meeting up and robbing a bank while they’re at it. So Amy’s new boyfriend (yes, I admit, I’m terrible at remembering new characters’ names) is gambling and winning with the help of super-special glasses to pay for college. First of all, HEY LOOK COLLEGES WHAT YOU MAKE US DO. Second of all, where did he get those glasses? Third of all, didn’t he learn anything from television? Never get cocky when gambling, especially saying things like, “I don’t need luck,” because that makes people suspicious since gambling is all about luck—you have to lose at least once! The probability of that type of probability is not very high!
Also, the whole getting caught thing was pretty bad as well.
However, Paul contacts Chloe, who runs in her evening gown and beats up the bad guys in what could’ve been a much better fighting sequence. Then Alex appears way too late, which was pretty funny. And then Paul punches the gambling boyfriend in the face for being a douche, even though he already got beat up by some random guys and probably just wants to go home and cry. Uh, so I guess Amy thought that was romantic and now they’re back together again.
Also, this one scene ends with Paul calling Alek CB and him just going, “Really?” to Chloe, proving once and for all that Benjamin Stone has excellent comic delivery and should really hang out with Chloe and the gang more. Seriously, he’s hilarious.
Totally Awkward: It’s Like If Ron and Hermione Broke Up
Chloe is part of a trio friendship, which means two members of the trio are definitely hooking up, which means for the time Amy and Paul were broken up, Chloe was all Awkward Harry around them both. Remember when Harry was horrified as Ron and Hermione tried to put the awkward moves on each other? I have a feeling I know why Rowling waited until the last book to get them together—that coupling is so awkward to be around, especially when they fight for like two days and then get back together and you’re like, “No I don’t want to go and see a movie with you guys, it always gets awkward.”
Totally Awkward: People Coming Up To You And Judging You
Okay, so I know the moment the lady came up to Brian and Chloe to say they were a very attractive couple and then when they denied it, going, “Well maybe you just don’t know it yet” was supposed to show that they are in TRUE LOVE or something. But uh…what kind of thing is that to say to someone?? I bet that lady does that all the time, though—to random good-looking couples in the street. I bet she got Ben and Jennifer together, both times, with her, “But you guys look so PRETTY together!”
Parallels: Gilmore Girls-esque Family Fun
Meanwhile, Chloe and her mom continue to be awesome, except for her lying about the whole “I’m a cat person” thing. I love how she lent her a dress, but like I said, if Chloe’s mom knew about her Mai racist problem with kissing humans, then maybe she wouldn’t have been so encouraging. Dammit, show.
Totally Awkward: Dad
Meanwhile, guess whose dad was totally awkward as he tried to pull off imposing and slightly sinister? That’s right, Brian’s dad! Way to sidle up to a random teenage girl and talk some mumbo jumbo about art (I thought the art was pretty, and the MOMA gives me hives, but apparently I’m alone in this) and then DISAPPEAR. Sheesh, that guy’s motivations are all over the map and spilling on to the desk its sitting on. I guess this could make him a complicated villain, but it makes him seem like a really bad multi-tasker.
Theory: Was Chloe’s mom dating Jasmine’s dad?
He said he had a fifteen-year-old daughter. I bet Jasmine would be so totally pumped about getting Chloe as a stepsister! Although wait, Mai and humans can’t kiss, right? OR CAN’T THEY?