• Wed, Jul 6 2011

Parenting Lessons from ‘Teen Mom’: Don’t Text Your Baby Mama When She’s Standing Right There

FARRAH

Farrah flashback: her baby’s father, Derek, died before baby Sophia was born. Farrah’s mom Debra assaulted her. They’re in counseling, and Debra says that Farrah is a good mom. Farrah is finishing culinary school, “modeling,” raising her daughter, and trying to get social security benefits for Sophia. I have to say, they really sped through the flashbacks this year, which I appreciate. These girls have been all over the media, and I feel like I know more about them than some of my relatives.

Farrah tells Sophia that “mommy’s going to get a boob job.” I don’t think Sophia is really old enough to understand what the heck her mom is talking about, but that is one seriously weird conversation and I’m going to pretend it was staged to provide exposition. Debra comes over and Farrah says she’s thinking about getting “boob implants” and asks if her mom will help her take care of Sophia during her recovery. Debra asks how Farrah is planning to pay for the surgery and Farrah says she’s paying in installments. Debra tells Farrah that she’s beautiful, and Farrah says she already knows that. But she’s getting plastic surgery anyway, so whatever. Although I don’t agree with Farrah’s choice I am glad she’s being upfront about it. (I have my suspicions about Maci’s bustline, but I don’t think she’s ever going to talk about it.)

At the plastic surgeon’s office, Dr. Finkler asks Farrah some questions. She fills out a form, which I have included an image of because it’s brilliant.

Later, Farrah tries to get a loan to pay for the surgery and says that she doesn’t want to dip into her savings. We get a montage of different customer service reps telling her no.

Later, Debra tells Farrah that she needs to put together a will that protects Sophia in case anything ever happens to Farrah. Farrah shrugs it off and says the surgery is minor and she’ll be fine, but Debra points out that you never know what can happen and that they certainly never expected Derek to die. I hate to say this, but Debra has a point. I know that writing a will feels really morbid, but it’s important to put this stuff in writing. Debra asks Farrah if she’s going to be appointed Sophia’s guardian, and this immediately turns the conversation from “helpful” to “creepy.” Later, on the phone with an attorney, Farrah tells the woman that she wants her mom to be the guardian for Sophia and her grandmother as a backup.

Next up, Farrah goes in for her surgery. She says that her mom and dad are going to take care of her – weren’t they going to get divorced? I guess they worked it out. Debra and Farrah pray together before she goes under anesthesia. After the surgery, Debra and Michael come to pick her up.

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