Fan Fiction: Lauren Conrad’s Forbes Column

Guess what? Lauren Conrad is writing a column for Forbes. Yes, Forbes, the business publication. Lauren Conrad is writing about being a businesswoman. Her very first piece is up today — and we got an exclusive look at the very first draft, which we’ve reproduced below:


Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you cannot find…

- Natasha Bedingfield, “Unwritten”

Hi! My name is Lauren Conrad and I’m an entrepreneur (a French word meaning “a person who has possession of a new enterprise, venture or idea and is accountable for the inherent risks and the outcome of a product”). I’m also a fashion designer, a novelist and a blogger (an English word meaning “writer”). Oh, and you might recognize me from a little something called The Hills :-)

In my Forbes column, I’ll be giving advice on running a business while also staying true to yourself. Girl Power! : -) Here are some of my tips:

1. A can of Red Bull makes a great paperweight

Being an entrepreneur means that sometimes you’ll be bombarded with lots of paper. My desk is often covered with things like gift receipts and thank you cards and business documents. I’ve gotten really into the idea of paperweights, because they keep my papers from flying away when a summer breeze comes in through the window : -) Scented candles make good paperweights even if you don’t light them, and I also like sea glass. In a pinch, though, just plop down that can of Red Bull or Monster and keep your papers on the desk where they belong, instead of out on the streets of Beverly Hills or wherever you work : -)

2. Business attire doesn’t have to mean ties

I like to dress appropriately for my job, but I also like to let my girly side come through :-) Sometimes I’ll wear a pink chiffon top underneath a black blazer. Or, maybe I’ll wear a cream blazer, or even a denim jacket in the spring. It’s also okay to wear a touch of floral to the office, especially if the flowers are roses or sunflowers. Go ahead and let your inner girl out!

3. Whenever I send my assistant to get me a green tea latte from Starbucks, I always tell her to get one for herself

Treat the people around you kindly and they’ll be kind to you in return. That’s something that’s written on a paperweight I have : -) It’s little things like this that make being a businesswoman worthwhile.

4. CEO vs. CFO

CEO stands for “chief executive officer,” and CFO stands for “chief financial officer.” The CFO is in charge of the finances and the CEO is in charge of executing things.

5. Strawberry lemonade for business meetings

I take a lot of meetings with different kinds of people like fashion buyers, TV producers and other entrepreneurs (some of them are actually French!). I like to have a fresh batch of strawberry lemonade out for these meetings. It puts my visitors in a good mood and really shows that I care about them being there. In the warmer months, I like to add a sprig of fresh mint to each beverage. These glasses also make good paperweights.

(Ed. Note: Due to scheduling conflicts, Kristin Cavallari will take over for the remainder of the column.)

I break tradition, sometimes my tries are outside the lines
We’ve been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can’t live that way

- Natasha Bedingfield, “Unwritten”

Hey guys. Um, okay, just so you know, I’m not here to make friends with this column. I’m just here to talk about business. I guess I should start by telling you why I’m more qualified for this than Lauren is, but to do that I’d need a webcam. Anyway, I’m an actress and the best business strategy for that is finding an agent. It’s also important to go to the gym and l guess to have a hot boyfriend. And a good body, and make sure your teeth are white. Fuck this, I’m going shopping.

The rest is still unwritten

- Natasha Bedingfield, “Unwritten”

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