In the future, everyone will have a reality show for fifteen minutes. And I predict that the next marginally-famous person to get her own reality show will be Courtney Alexis Stodden, the 16 year old “aspiring country singer” and child bride of 51 year old actor Doug Hutchison. But what angle will the show take, and which network will air it? I have some theories.
We already know that TLC loves unusual families, from child armies (19 Kids and Counting) to polygamists (Sister Wives). So a show about a teenager whose weird enabling parents signed legal paperwork to let her marry a dude older than her own dad would be a perfect fit for this network. They also air Toddlers & Tiaras, which is perfect for when Doug’s eye starts wandering and he opens up a casting call for Wife #2.
Courtney’s 16 – if she gets knocked up in time, she could do the very first ever special celebrity edition of 16 and Pregnant. Just imagine her criticizing the other girls’ makeup choices on the reunion special! Also, MTV’s new show Married Young would be a great fit, but does it count if only one of the people in the relationship is young?
Courtney already looks like a Real Housewife and makes terrible music videos, so she’ll fit right in among the “ladies” of New Jersey or Orange County. And if they decide to bring back that reality show about stage parents, Courtney’s family would be the perfect place to start.
The gang from Hoarders could do a great job cleaning all those years’ worth of accumulated pageant photos and cupcake dresses out of Courtney’s closet so that she can pack up her stuff and move to the hubby’s homestead.
If the marriage doesn’t work out, Courtney still has tons of TV options. She could do a World According to Paris “redemption” show, or she could just flame out spectacularly and become the baddest bitch on The Bad Girls Club. I would definitely watch that.