Caroline Manzo’s Advice Column Should Be a Manual for All Other ‘Real Housewives’

This season on Real Housewives of New Jersey, Caroline Manzo‘s storyline has been about her empty nest syndrome now that all her kids are grown and moving out of the house (and, in her sons’ cases, onto their own reality show). One of the projects she has started to keep herself busy is writing an advice column for MSN.com. Despite the creepiness of her main channel page, which is just a series of identical photos of Caroline (see image), she’s not a bad advice-giver. I mean, she’s definitely the only Real Housewife I can imagine taking life advice from. Frankly, I think other women on the franchise could benefit from reading some of Caroline’s wisdom.

People come in and out of our lives constantly. It can be for a day, a week, a month or a year—who knows? True friendship lasts a lifetime. Treasure the true friends and enjoy all the others for what they are: people passing through for a bit, adding another page to the diary of your life.

Although this was from a response to a woman whose friendship ended when the friend chose a dude over her, Caroline could very well be talking about some of the Housewives casts. Jill Zarin, print this out and read it every time you give another interview about Bethenny Frankel.

Manners and respect are not a luxury; they are simple courtesies that should be exercised by each and every one of us on a daily basis.

I intend to hit Countess LuAnn de Lesseps in the face with this sentence the next time she belittles someone for not following one of her invented etiquette rules. If LuAnn knew anything about etiquette or manners, she would know that the absolute rudest thing you can do is tell someone they’re wrong in front of all their friends.

One very important note: You’re not your daughter’s “friend”; you’re her mother. The chain of command always has to be in place and should never be crossed. It’s great to have girl talk and hang out, but that doesn’t mean you go “clubbing” together, wear the same bikini and get the same “rebel” tattoo! If you want to go out and get crazy, fine, but do it without your child, and when you do, keep the details to yourself.

This one goes out to Caroline’s sister in law Jacqueline Laurita, who sucks at raising her daughter Ashley Holmes. But while we’re at it, all the chicks from Real Housewives of Orange County would probably benefit from this too.

How do you keep the attraction alive? By sharing your lives with one another. Talk about your workday, your dreams and your fears. If something happens during your day that is funny or exciting, then call your partner and tell him. If your back hurts, then ask for a back rub, if it’s a beautiful day, then go for a walk, and if you’re doing yard work, then do it together.

In other words: Melissa Gorga and Joe Gorga need to can it with their over the top on-camera PDA already. You’re grossing everyone out. Alexis Bellino, you should also write this shit down. The more you have to tell the camera and the audience about how hot your sex life with your husband is, the less anybody believes you.

I believe we all need to be very honest and take a good look at our relationships and ourselves. Don’t be so quick to place the blame if cheating occurs. There’s a reason. Usually something is broken somewhere. Did you fall into a rut? Did you forget to make time for and appreciate each other? Did you become too possessive, smothering? Did you stop communicating, laughing, listening? Did you stop making him/her feel special and loved? Did you stop thinking about your physical appearance? Did you pick the wrong person? Did you have different ideas of what a relationship is and what the commitment level should be? Think about it. Look at yourself and your partner as individuals and as a couple.

Oh hey, Ramona Singer. That one’s all for you.

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    • pushpins

      She clearly has that dog in a headlock. You can see his face scrunching up as he tries to get out of it

      • Amanda Ernst

        My thoughts exactly.