As-Yet-Unused Celebrity Baby Names for Natalie Portman

Natalie Portman seems to be a little more sane than her Hollywood counterparts, but based on the celebrity track record there’s always a chance Portman will go off the deep end. Here are some suggestions of as-yet-unused crazypants names:

  • Humperdink Fallows Portman Millepied
  • Açaí Armory Millepied
  • East Timor Portman
  • Oregano (no last name)
  • Centipede Millepied
  • 212 Portman
  • Missile Silo Millepied
  • Jackson Hole Darfur Portman
  • Baby Portpied
  • Wrestlemania Millepied
  • BikiniJacks Millepied
  • Baby Bell Cheese Portman
  • An4l33 //1LL3P13D


  • Jane Doe (but only for a boy)

By the way, for those of you playing along at home, Baby Boy Portman-Millepied’s bris will probably take place on Wednesday, June 22, eight days after the birth. Who’s bringing whitefish salad?

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    • Anon

      It’s not 8 days after the birth, it’s the 8th day of life, so the 7th day after the birth (the same day of the week).