American Idol fever is winding down after crowning its new king, Scotty McCreery. But what of the rest of the finalists we watched sing their hearts out week after week? Here are our superlatives and future predictions for the Top 10 of Season 10:
1. Scotty McCreery – Best All-Around
Scotty will have a legitimately successful career as a country artist. His anthems will appear in commercials for products like Ford pick-ups, breakfast cereals, and America.
2. Lauren Alaina – Most Ambitious
Celebrity Rehab Season 10. And then a best selling memoir called Hate You This Big.
3. Haley Reinhart – Most Improved
Haley will star as Roxie Hart in a Broadway revival of Chicago to critical acclaim. Then she’ll play Velma Kelly in Rob Marshall’s 2020 film adaptation of the musical, which both he and the rest of the world will forget he’s already made.
4. James Durbin – Most Adam Lamberty
James Durbin will go on to have a successful music career and will sell millions of records. For about two years. Then he’ll go on to lead a nice, comfortable life with his wife and child, both of whom he genuinely loves.
5. Jacob Lusk – Most Magical
Jacob will step out of his suit and reveal he’s been a unicorn all along. And, somehow, after this revelation his singing voice will get even more beautiful.
6. Casey Abrams – Best Beard
Casey will record some stuff and front some bands, greatest accomplishment will be holding the Guinness Record for Longest Scatter. (17 uninterrupted hours, which also helped in lose 4 pounds.)
7. Stefano Langone - Swooniest
Stefano will get mad laid for the next couple years, and then the world will forget about him, but he’ll still get sorta-laid for the next few decades when he drops the show’s name.
8. Paul McDonald – Most Likely to Get Arrested
He’ll have a three-episode arc on a CW show, playing a struggling singer/songwriter with a mysterious past. He’ll cut a record and it will be featured on that show. One day, Taylor Swift will write a song about him.
9. Pia Toscano – Best Looking
Pia will release an album, it will be boring, then she’ll learn to figure skate and she’ll spend the next 10 years performing Disney on Ice.
10. Naima Adedapo – Most Overstood
Naima will continue to perform with her reggae band at street fairs and swap meets. One of her five children will follow in her footsteps and go on to win The X Factor.