If abstinence is the best form of protection, then I got all the bases covered. In that, no one is covering my bases. What I’m trying to say is there’s not going to be a baseball game today or tomorrow or next week because not even the benchwarmers showed up to play. And this is the minor league we’re talking about. Look, I ain’t getting any…younger, amirightladies? But seriously, I ain’t getting any. When it comes to my life, there’s DEFINITELY crying in baseball.
Abstinence may make the heart grow fonder, but getting lucky makes the bed sheets warmer and who isn’t ready for a heat wave, amirightladies? But even the ladies lucky in love can’t count on their luck to protect them from the STD lottery. And there are plenty of ads out there to remind you that one night’s victory can lead to a lifetime of regret or at least an expensive prescription of penicillin. Not that I would know, as it’s been years. Years.
Point is, sisterfriends, be smart, men give you enough ache as it is – so let’s keep it in the heart and away from the loins. But don’t let me do all the talking; these ads speak for themselves.