Here’s the narrative of Justin Bieber‘s perfume commercial: Girl spritzes her neck with “Someday” and Justin suddenly appears behind her. He sniffs her and then she’s Raptured up into Heaven. And again: the girl sprays the other side of her neck and once more, Bieber appears to send her soul skywards.
Sure, this seems harmless enough (unless you’re Harold Camping), but we anticipate a horrific new trend destined to afflict our impressionable youth. Girls will begin to spray more and more of the perfume, hoping for those wonderful moments of Bieber neck-sniffing, and then they’ll realize that in large enough quantities, the perfume can actually get you high. Then they’ll be lost forever, doomed to wander the mall glassy-eyed with matted hair buried under Justin Bieber Purple™ hoodies. Worse than bath salts!