Text messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it’s not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed – with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst.
It looks like many of you have something in common with Charlie Sheen and (fictional) Condoleezza Rice: you’ve experienced the text message break-up.
I can’t say I was surprised that my last Textual Healing — which asked, “Have you ever been dumped by text?” — got you talking, but some of your stories really made my heart break, as I’m sure yours did when they first happened! Some of you got the dreaded text on holidays like Valentine’s Day (classic) or Christmas. Others said the break came from a guy you were seeing long distance. Commenter Erin S. said it best, “Texting makes it too easy for cowards. And bastards.”
I have never been dumped by text, although I recently received what was essentially a break up text before a first date could even occur. But I have experienced the cold blow of a break-up via some other sort of technology — like commenter K., I have been dumped by email and I got a fateful break-up IM, which commenter Jillian admitted to doing to one of her exes. Although mine came on my birthday and, Jillian, I doubt you were that cruel.
One thing I noticed many of you touch on in your comments was the feeling that after a break up text you still feel like the relationship is unfinished. This happens even when you break up face to face, but getting a pitiful text makes the feeling even worse. Both Erin S. and Miss A. said that they (understandably) reached out to their boyfriends after getting break up texts, but neither heard back. Sometimes it helps to get those feelings out there, even if you know you’ll never hear from him again. And, sometimes, you do get a response — though that’s bound to not really help the situation either.
Maybe, as commenter cshugs pointed out, breaking up in any way is just awkward, and there’s really no way to avoid that — or the hard feelings and rejection that come along with any break. In the end, I think cshugs’ break-up sounds as ideal as any break-up can be:
“i once had a mutual breakup where we both just stopped talking. and this wasn’t a ‘we’ve had three dates and we’re both not into it’ situation – this was a ‘we’ve been going on dates and sleeping in the same bed 5 nights a week for 5 months’ situation. it was the best and worst break up of all time… all my friends were telling me he’d call or text, but neither one of us reached out. haven’t seen him in over 2 years. saved a whole lot of awkwardness.”
Would you rather be dumped via text or just never speak to your guy again? Leave your thoughts in the comments below and you might see them featured in an upcoming installment of Textual Healing.