There’s a press release going around announcing that Butterfingers – the candy I’ve never eaten but know about because of The Simpsons – is making a movie, and our friend Rob Lowe is directing it. Wait, what?
I still haven’t processed this information, so let’s just cut and paste the thing directly:
BUTTERFINGER® is going where no candy bar has gone before, leaping from the concession stand sidelines to the big screen spotlight. “Butterfinger the 13th” will be the first-ever film produced not by a major studio or filmmaker, but by one of America’s iconic candy brands. And signed on to make movie-making history with Butterfinger is none other than actor, producer, New York Times best-selling author, and now, first-time comedy-horror film director, Rob Lowe.
“Butterfinger’s history with irreverent comedy drew me to this really unique, fun project,” said director Lowe, who plays ‘Chris Traeger’ on hit comedy ‘Parks and Recreation’ and recently guest starred on three episodes of ‘Californication.’ “As an artist, I get to explore the world of horror movie-making with a comedic twist. It’s going to be a psychological thriller that will leave you laughing.”
There is just so much weirdness going on in this post that I don’t even know how to deal. Did somebody get high and write this as a joke? A Butterfingers movie? Is the villain going to be a Snickers bar? And did they tell Rob Lowe they’d buy 10,000 copies of his book so he could get on the NYT bestseller list as part of his fee for doing this absurd project? Fuck, I don’t know. I have to lie down.