• Tue, May 10 2011

‘Star Wars vs. Star Trek’ and Other Tales: Which of These Franchises Would Win in a Fight?

And to conclude, witness:

J. K. Rowling’s HARRY POTTER vs. Philip Pullman’s HIS DARK MATERIALS

Crookshanks the cat did not trust the new arrival. It was a cat; and yet it was not a cat. No, it was something else, and Crookshanks intended to find out what.

He approached it cautiously, his bottlebrush tail waving. “Mrow?” he inquired.

The other cat stared back.

Crookshanks tried again. “Mrow?”

The other cat continued to stare.

Crookshanks reached out a paw and took a swipe.

And the other cat… changed.

Just for a second, it became something larger, something tougher and rangier. It hissed. Then.it was a cat again, just as if it had always been one.

Crookshanks bristled. He knew it! It was a threat! Anything that weird HAD to be a threat!

Neither one of them was sure who sprang first, but suddenly, they were rolling, biting, scratching, spitting– everything a good cat fight was made of. Every so often, though, the strange cat would flicker, just as it had done before, and Crookshanks would lose his grip. If cats could curse, Crookshanks would have.

Then a voice called out: “Pan!”

A girl appeared, and the other cat leapt away from Crookshanks, towards the girl. The not-cat arched up against the girl’s legs.

Crookshanks meowed hesitantly; then he did what any self-respecting cat would do and ran. The not-cat could do what it liked; as long as it left Crookshanks alone, it wasn’t worth the fight.

Now where was Hermione when you needed her?

WINNER: Crookshanks. Never underestimate the worth of a strong sense of self-preservation.

You can reach this post's author, Lucia Peters, on twitter.
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  • Matt Forbeck

    Thanks for the coverage of my book, and for the excellent article. Just FYI, the book shipped early and is in stores now.