Prom Flick Check List: ’90210′

This week’s 90210 recap is a little different, in honor of it being the West Bev prom! “The Prom Before the Storm” had college woes, lies and paranoia, and more than one kid facing their mortality — let’s see how all that ranks against the stereotypes of prom episodes and movies of the past. In the tradition of Crushable’s Chick Flick Check List, here’s a Prom Flick Check List — tallying up romantic dramas, the search for the perfect dress, the delight of the unexpected, and choreographed dance scenes. All scores are out of 100.

90210‘s Prom List Rating: 57

The Art of Asking: 2/10

The established couples — Annie/Liam, Naomi/Max, Teddy/Marco — took it for granted that they were going together, so we didn’t get to see anyone break into a significant other’s class with the marching band, or surprise the other with roses and that big question. Is romance dead in the zip?

The only reason this episode rates two points in this category is for two small moments. When Dixon asks Harper why she obsessively plans every dance, she explains it’s because no one will ever ask her. So then Dixon asks her to dance with him — aww. But the writers have to ruin it by making Harper one of those weird geek kids who dances like a spastic robot. Then there was Navid and Silver: She couldn’t go to prom because of her manic episode, but she never asked Navid to miss out on the special dance because of her. Then again, that doesn’t turn out quite as planned…

Can You Feel the Love Tonight: 5/10

Not even prom night can make the 90210 kids relax the drama. Adrianna drops by Silver’s house to tell her that she and Navid kissed; when Silver confronts him, he says that he was too drunk to remember, which isn’t what she wanted to hear. Max and Naomi’s differences in intelligence creates problems; more on that in the “Clique Wars” section. That, and Raj gets stinking drunk to cope with the fact that he’ll have to do daily chemo for a month, and even then his cancer may not go away. Ivy is, understandably, not amused by him calling her “the old ball and chain,” hanging out with burnouts, and chatting up one of the servers.

Montages and Choreographed Dance Sequences: 3/10

Nope, and it’s a disappointment since I would’ve liked to see the girls doing the traditional prom rituals of trying on dresses together and getting ready. There was a moment where I thought Dixon was going to start copying Harper’s jerky dance moves to make her feel better and it would become a huge dorky line dance, but then I remembered that this wasn’t an ’80s movie.

Dress Drama: 5/10

The biggest dilemma is when Annie doesn’t know which dress to wear with the necklace that Marla gives her — a less fabulous, peach one that matches perfectly, or a more “prom-like” red one that would cancel out the jewelry. Then she sells the bauble to pay for her and Dixon’s tuition and wears a third dress. Why did we even bother?

The answer to that is, everyone else looks superb: Naomi dazzles in a white, kind of modern-Grecian gown; Ivy’s boho red off-the-shoulder dress is very her; and Teddy and Marco are just adorable together. The other fashion don’ts are Adrianna in a mismatched T-shirt top/chiffon poofy skirt combo, and Harper in the requisite “unfashionable geeky plaid dress.”

Resemblance to Our Proms: 5/10

Not even a manic prom planner who enlists aliens and Cirque du Soleil dancers could bring this prom down to a normal level. I will say that it’s kind of delightful how weirded out the kids are by Silver’s planning, yet they’re determined to make the best of it. That said, the drunk kids nudge up the score a little bit.

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