Shakespeare it ain’t, but Mark Schwahn‘s ludicrous teen soap One Tree Hill has managed to hold my attention for nearly all of its eight years on The CW. Why? Because it has the most absurd, inexplicable, wtf-worthy plotlines and reveals. It is just too crazy not to miss. But if you don’t want to wade through all the set-up to get to the absolutely off-the-wall moments this show is known for, then check out our gallery. (Case in point: The all-girl pillow fight that somehow finds its way into almost every season’s opening.)
Dan Loses His Heart Transplant
Dan, the human cockroach who could never die no matter if you poisoned him, burned down his dealership, or shot him, finally succumbs to a faulty heart. (Two sizes too small, etc.) But right when it looks as if he’ll get a donation, this incredible moment happens. The best part might be Chad Michael Murray‘s face at the end.
This was the best hour of television I saw in the 2006-2007 season: A blond stranger claiming to be Peyton’s brother Derek tracks her down, and everything is peachy until we find out that he’s a) not her brother, b) has been following her via her webcam for months, and c) has a tattoo and hired a hooker to look like Peyton so he could beat her up. In typical OTH fashion, Petyton doesn’t believe Lucas when he tells her to watch out for Derek, so she ends up at home all alone when he makes his move.
For some reason, there’s no video with straight footage of this scene; each one is remixed in some way. This is the least offensive version I could find, though the background music makes it sound like a bad movie trailer. It also won’t embed, so check it out here.
Nikki, the Baby Mama from Hell
All the baby-mama-drama in the early seasons was overwrought, especially when college-aged (?) Nikki came back to Tree Hill to get custody of the infant that a court decided to give to the teenage father because she was an unfit mother. Oh, but first she and Lucas had sex in a carousel in the mall. The fact that there is no video of that encounter is devastating.