Textual Healing: Drunk Texting Prevention? There’s An App For That

textual healingText messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it’s not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed – with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst.

If you’ve ever wished that someone was there with you during that tearful moment when you drunkenly texted an ex from a bar’s bathroom stall asking you, “Are you sure you want to go through with this? Will you regret this tomorrow?” — then (if you have an iPhone) your prayers have been answered.

I’ve been known to switch phones with friends or leave my phone at home on nights that I know I’ll be tempted to drunk dial or drunk text, so I would happily pay 99 cents for Textalyzer, a new iPhone app that makes you win games before you’re allowed to send at text to someone you’ve placed on your “forbidden list.” The theory behind Textalyzer is that if you’re coherent enough to beat four simple games, then you’re cognizant enough to send out a message you won’t regret in the morning.

I can see this working for certain people — those people who want to be stopped from actually doing something they’ll regret — but others will see it as a fun challenge. Also, you have to create your own “forbidden list” so you can “forget” to add that cute guy you just met last week, and then drunk texting will go on uninhibited.

I would suggest to the inventors of Textalyzer that their app prevent users from texting or calling anyone except for a few emergency contacts they can add to their “safe” list. When I’m determined enough (read: experiencing that unfortunate combination of drunkenness, loneliness and nostalgia) not even a few simple games will stop me from texting. I have a strict regimen of self-denial, which includes avoiding all electronics after a certain number of drinks or time at night. Can an app replicate that? Can it shut down my phone completely after administering a breathalyzer? Or maybe the app can show me that scene from Notting Hill when Julia Roberts is all, “I’m just a girl…standing in front of a boy…” and if tears drop on my phone’s screen, texting is disabled for the next 12 hours. Scratch that — that scene makes me cry whether I’m drunk or sober. Celebrities are people, too!

I seem to have gotten a little bit off track. I guess my ultimate point is that until someone invents an app like that, Textalyzer might be the best line of defense against determined drunk texters like me (and, admit it, sometimes you, too). So, when will a version be available for Blackberry?

What lengths have you gone to to prevent yourself from drunk texting or dialing? Or, do you not have a problem with it at all? Leave your experiences in the comments below and you might see it featured in an upcoming installment of Textual Healing.

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    • Joanna

      Oh this has happened to me way too many times before. Blackberry seriously needs this app ASAP. Wahhhh!