8 Things NOT To Try If You Get Trapped In A Time Loop (A Guide)

Time travel is a dangerous business. Perhaps even MORE dangerous, though, are time loops. Rather than allowing you to go anywhere, anytime, a time loop instead traps you in one sequence of events for a specific amount of time (think Groundhog Day). A few weeks ago, Cracked had some excellent advice on hand for 8 Things To Try If You Get Trapped In A Time Loop. However, with the exception of number 3, they neglected to address the important issue of what NOT to try if you get trapped in a time loop. Subsequently, I’ve taken up their advisory mantle; should you find yourself in a time loop, do NOT, under any circumstances, try to:

1) Escape.
Because you won’t if you’re actively trying to. They only way you’re getting out of a time loop is if you figure out what it is you’re meant to be doing in it. Then it will resolve itself. You can’t strongarm it on your own, so take it in stride and see where it goes.

2) Find Yourself.
Finding yourself in any sort of time situation is always problematic. If you’re going back in your own timeline, you don’t want to run into yourself because you’ll cause a paradox. However, if you’re stuck in a LOOP, odds are you won’t be able to find yourself anyway, so don’t waste your time trying.

If you DO find yourself by accident, however, DON’T try to:

3) Insist You’re the Real You.
Odds are you found a clone. You’re both the real you. Instead of arguing about it, put both your heads together and see where that takes you.

Moving right along, DON’T try to:

4) Explain Your Problem to People.
They won’t believe you. They never do. Remember, their memory is only as long as the time loop and you can’t really change that. Telling them to trust you, though– that’s something you CAN do. Now you just have to hope they do it.

5) Ignore Strange Physical Problems You Suddenly Start Having.
If you start bleeding from weird places or all your teeth start falling out, seek medical attention immediately. And stop whatever you’re doing that’s causing it.

6) Ignore What’s Happening, Period.
Shutting your eyes, sticking your fingers in your ears, and going “LALALALALALA” really loudly won’t solve anything.

7) Barter with the Military.
Especially if they put you in the time loop. If they’re the ones that put you there, they want you there for a very specific reason, and they will tell you anything in order to make sure you do what they want you to. They will lie. Do not trust them.

And finally, never, EVER, try to:

8) Give Up.
You’ll get through it. I promise.

Good luck.

You can reach this post's author, Lucia Peters, on twitter.
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    • The Dude

      Again… you’re so full of it. And of course you never reply to what I write so I know you’re never going to read this… but…What else have I got to do after the love of my life no longer knows me… Ya know, the first time I read number 8 here…I was inspired. I thought maybe someone else has been here. But centuries upon centuries later I must tell you again… you’re wrong. You never get out of it…….EVER.
      What’s that old time loop movie with Tom Cruise. Not the detective one, “Future Dated” from 2016. But the one in 2014. I haven’t seen it for a while……maybe it’s not even out yet, I don’t remember. The one where he keeps dying over and over as a soldier, and finds that girl who has been in the same situation as him. And he falls in love with her. It’s baloney ya know. He wouldn’t have still had feelings for her after all that time. After hundreds of years you can’t stand the same people. They make you sick to your stomach…literally. But you can always meet someone new. And then a little over two years later. It’s done and you’re back to square one. That’s the worst part. Well, actually the worst part is food…………You would think food is always enjoyable like sex is. But nope. The sensation of taste is like a memory…it carries over and after so long every taste gets…blurry…and tedious.

      Eight Hundred and Twenty Six. 826. Why 826 days? If you’re such a time loop whiz can you answer that one you mute? If I take 826 and divide it by 365 days I get 2.263013698630137 years. There’s 16 numbers in 2.263013698630137. And 8 plus 2 plus 6 equals 16. Other than that, I got nothing.
      I don’t know. Look at me googling how to get out of a time loop. Like any one really knows. Well.. I have a lot of nothing to attend to between now and 1/22/2017.

      If any one reads this, the Royals win the world series 3 years in a row. They always win a week after I get back (i got back yesterday), and each year after. I’ll never know what they do in 2017, but I’d like to think they won that one too.. go make millions, enjoy it while you can, because none of you ever get out of this loop either….you’re all right where you left off every eight hundred and twenty six stinking days.