• Tue, Apr 19 2011

Crushable 25: Tim Tebow For President

Tim Tebow is the Sarah Palin of professional football. Except everyone likes him (almost). He’s the quarterback for the Denver Broncos, arguably the most successful college football player of all time and an adorably baby faced evangelical Christian on top of all that.

If Sarah Palin has taught us anything, it is that controversial views are far more palatable (at least temporarily) if they’re tied up in a pretty package. Also, if you’re willing to trade in your hotness, you can get away with a lot.

In Tebow’s case, he went from starring in an anti-abortion ad at the Superbowl, to starring in underwear ads. And everyone loves him more and more each day. There’s even a bronze Tebow statue that was recently erected at his alma mater University of Florida.

And now he is the face (and body) of Jockey underwear. What other Focus on the Family stars proudly appear topless on your TV screen? Better yet: what other pro-football player has circumcised orphans in the Philippines?

And unlike most Republican political candidates, Tebow’s got mad PR skills. So what if he was born int he Phillipinnes? Obama didn’t let his birth certificate stop him. And Tebow’s youth is just another hurdle to overcome in this election.*

In his Jockey ad, Tebow encourages us: “Man, you gotta feel this shirt.”

Yes, I want to feel that shirt. Where is the Tim Tebow touching station set up? I’m asking for a friend. (I’m not a stalker, promise.)

The only problem with that Jockey ad? He’s shirtless for less than 2 seconds. When’s he going to start selling briefs?

Honestly, if Sarah Palin uses her Learning Channel show about Alaska as a qualification for her 2012 Presidential run, can we all agree to put in Tim Tebow’s name as a write in candidate instead? There’s no way his presidential bid would be any less ridiculous than, say, um, Donald Trump‘s?

If you don’t believe me, take a look at this photo to fully understand the contradictory (yet complimentary) aspects of Tim Tebow’s persona:

What do we have here exactly? Oh, just Tim Tebow heismaning a baby. In Thailand. While wearing CROCS.

Using babies like inanimate objects may not be the most popular of pastimes, but Tebow makes it look so good natured, so wholesome. So fun.

And look how comfy his feet look. My mind wants to reject those Crocs. Those blue and red CROCS. That match his Polo shirt. But then I can’t help myself. I like the Crocs. If ever a man could get away with wearing Crocs (other than Mario Batali), it is this one. I want to hate the Crocs. I am predisposed to hate the Crocs. And yet. I love the Crocs. I love Tim Tebow.

If nothing else, this man knows how to do a presidential baby hold. If anyone from the Republican party is going to give Obama a run for his money in 2012, it is this man.

*Yes, obviously he’s too young to run for president in 2012. We know.

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