My favorite tabloid, The National Enquirer, announces on this week’s cover that Dancing with the Stars is rigged and that either Kirstie Alley or Kendra Wilkinson will win. Here are the Enquirer’s arguments, plus commentary from me.
Enquirer: Kirstie has 700,000 Twitter followers!
Lilit: Well, Kim Kardashian has even more than that, and it still didn’t help her get enough votes to stay on the show.
Enquirer: Kirstie has a lot of popular Hollywood friends who will rally behind her (read: Scientologists).
Lilit: Having powerful friends cannot help you win this show. It isn’t the Emmys, where the voters are people in the industry. You have to get the audience to vote for you, so unless Tom Cruise is power-voting for you he isn’t super helpful.
Enquirer: Kendra’s husband is a football player, and his NFL fans will vote for her.
Lilit: Football players do well on this show, but their wives? Remains to be seen. If football fans are watching this season, they’ll probably vote for a player (Hines Ward) over a player’s wife.
Enquirer: As a reality star, Kendra has tons of fans who will vote for her.
Lilit: Reality stardom doesn’t always translate to Dancing success. A perfect example is Kendra’s former costar Holly Madison, who wasn’t long for DWTS. Also, reality fans tend to be younger, and Dancing‘s core audience is older (hence the success of past candidates like Donny Osmond and Jennifer Grey – well, that and the fact that they were good dancers).
Enquirer: Oh, and the show was also rigged so Bristol Palin would make it to the finals.
Lilit: Well, you might have a point there.