Kailyn texts Jo that she's filing for a formal custody agreement. They do discuss it in person later when she goes to pick up Isaac, but it's still weird how the people on this show seem to use texting as their primary means of communication. Or maybe I'm just old. "I feel bad when Jo and I aren't fighting," Kailyn tells her mom, which is like seven kinds of fucked up.
Kailyn texts Jo that she's filing for a formal custody agreement. They do discuss it in person later when she goes to pick up Isaac, but it's still weird how the people on this show seem to use texting as their primary means of communication. Or maybe I'm just old. "I feel bad when Jo and I aren't fighting," Kailyn tells her mom, which is like seven kinds of fucked up.
Later, Kailyn calls the courthouse to confirm her appointment and gets a date for her mediation session with Jo. In the meantime, Isaac eats dog food. Meanwhile at the Riveras, Janet and Jo talk about the court process. Janet once again shows why she's the best parent on this show and reminds Jo how important it is that he and Kail get along even if they hate each other. On the day of the mediation, MTV plays soft background music so that we'll understand how important and emotional this day is. I would like to give a dozen points to the person at the courthouse who wouldn't let MTV film the actual mediation. After seeing televised therapy appointments on this show, I'm glad that someone is standing up for privacy. Although Kailyn and Jo manage to be mature at the courthouse, they get into an argument about the specifics times and dates they'll be picking up and dropping off Isaac, and Jo calls Kailyn "mental" and "a bitch." I think these two people are allergic to each other. I feel so bad for Isaac when he gets old enough to understand what his parents are saying to and about each other. Kailyn once again says that she's better than Jo because she goes to college and he doesn't, even though Jo has a good job and pays for almost all of Isaac's expenses.
Kailyn has a date with Jordan. He uses the word "Andalay," which she informs him is not Spanish, even though it totally is. She claims Jordan "doesn't know the first thing about Spanish," implying that she picked some up while living with the Riveras, but it's hilarious because Jordan is right and Kail is wrong. That sure bodes well for her chemistry classes.
It's Aubree's first birthday, and both she and Chelsea have colds. Chelsea asks her mom to buy her sushi but her mom points out that Chelsea should be eating soup. She gets her dad to bring her sushi instead. Way to go, Randilicious. Randy uses this opportunity to remind Chelsea to get her GED - again! - and he texts Adam that he's going to have his car towed. An adult texting a kid? How old is Randy?
Chelsea and her friend Erica shop for decorations for Aubree's birthday party. Try to act surprised when you find out the theme is pink and leopard print. Chelsea says she's worried about how Adam will respond to the news that his car got towed, saying "His cars are to him what Aubree is to me." That's actually quite a good assessment. Chelsea's mom and sister come in for the party, and I think this is the first time we've ever seen Chelsea's sister. The sister asks a lot of questions about Adam and points out what a douche he is. I'm really glad that Chelsea is staying strong and hasn't gone back to Adam yet, but I suspect the reason she's actually taking a stance about child support and custody is because Adam moved on to someone else. Later, Adam texts Chelsea's mom Mary and asks about Aubree's birthday party. STOP TEXTING. I'm sure Adam loves it because it's a passive-agressive method of communication, but it's boring to watch on screen and isn't a good way to move the story along. Remember in Chelsea's 16 and Pregnant episode when Adam texted her and said she was a "fat stretch-marked bitch" and that Aubree was "a mistake"? Because I do. Chelsea refers to Megan as "Stepdaddy Megan," which is sort of icky. Chelsea's present to Aubree? A leopard print blanket. Obviously, she's messing with me at this point.
The next day, Adam shows up unannounced at Chelsea's house to move his stuff out of her garage. He comes into the house demanding to know where his car is, and Chelsea informs him it was towed. Adam, predictably, calls her a bitch and storms out. Megan has enough sense to tell Chelsea to lock the front door, but I'd go further and get the locks changed. Chelsea calls her dad and says that if Adam comes in the house again she wants Randy to call the police. Or she could use her working telephone and do it herself, but whatever. Adam cleans the rest of his stuff out of the garage and leaves, and Chelsea points out that he didn't ask about Aubree or try to see her. She and her friends share memories of Aubree's first year of life, and Chelsea cries talking about how much she loves her daughter.
Jenelle admits that she and Kieffer are having problems and that her mom hates him, but rather than realize that means they should break up or that she should rethink the relationship, she decides to see him in secret and try to keep her mom from finding out. Kieffer is squatting at a friend's family's vacation house, which is always smart, and Jenelle stays there with him, which is even smarter.
Jenelle voiceovers that she woke up at 2 AM to find Kieffer gone and police banging on the door. Then she admits that she was arrested for breaking and entering and for pot possession, which we've known about for months. (That's why I hate the timeline of this show - the tabloids have already covered most of the major plot points before they even happen.) Kieffer, it turns out, was down the block, and the cops pick him up too. Jenelle, the dude ditched you in your sleep and tried to leave you holding the bag - break up with him already! Jenelle calls her mom from jail and asks if she can come home. Once again, Barbara tells Jenelle that if she stays with Kieffer she'll get kicked out, but we've seen Barbara's empty threats before. I'm very staunchly Team Barbara, but she really needs to take a firmer hand with Jenelle. Jenelle's friend Amber bails her out but asks her "What the hell were you thinking?" which is something the audience probably asks nineteen times an episode. It turns out that the cocaine charge that Kieffer got picked up on last week happened during this episode - he was drinking and doing blow when the cops picked him up. Jenelle is pissed about him abandoning her and claims she's done with him, but as we already know that breakup didn't stick. Later, Kieffer calls Jenelle and asks her to bail him out, but she says no. He says he loves her. I don't think Kieffer loves anyone but himself.
Jenelle goes back to Barbara's house, and Barbara asks her what jail was like. I believe Jenelle was genuine when she said she didn't want to get back together with Kieffer, and I wonder what happened in the meantime to make her forgive him and get back together with him. Not to mention want to beat up another girl over him. During her temporary concilatory period, Jenelle tries to parent Jace and attempts to arrange a payment plan with her mom's credit card company (although I still don't know where her income is going to come from, since she got fired from her waitressing job in the last episode). She also tells Barbara that she loves her, and Barbara cries. God, I wish Jenelle meant any of this. Right on cue, Kieffer calls again. He's still in jail, and Jenelle still refuses to bail him out. She says she wants him to change, and Kieffer says "I have to be out to change." I might hate him more than Adam. Jenelle was clearly touched by what Kieffer said, and even though Barbara's boyfriend Mike tries to knock some damn sense into her, Jenelle says that Kieffer is her best friend and that she loves him and misses him. "Drop everything, hang out with your kid," Mike says. "I do want to spend time with Jace, but that doesn't stop me from missing Kieffer," Jenelle responds. Aaaaand we're back to square one. Sure enough, Jenelle bails Kieffer out and, sure enough, she lies to Barbara about it. Jenelle says that she's giving Kieffer two weeks to get himself together and change, and it's eerie how much her hollow threats resemble the ones that Barbara gives to her. At the end of the episode we get a montage of all the moms with their kids, and Jace is with ... Barbara. Raise your hand if you're surprised.
Leah and her bridesmaids go to a nail salon to get their nails done. Leah mentions that the twins are going to be flower girls and I almost die at the potential adorableness of Ali's glasses and a poufy dress. The wedding is at some place called Coonskin Park, in case you weren't sure how dedicated Corey and Leah were to the redneck theme. They're super cute during the wedding rehearsal, and it's nice how supportive their family and friends are of them.
Even though Leah and Corey decided not to see each other before the wedding, he calls her the night before the ceremony. He tells her he picked up their rings. Leah's sister Victoria is there and says that Corey won't be able to manage not seeing Leah. Corey and Leah both admit they're nervous, but I think it's just normal "we're excited about our big day tomorrow" nerves, and not "we regret doing this" nerves, even though the show's storyline wants us to think otherwise. Leah asks her sister to spoon her since Corey's not there to do it, which is both creepy and sweet at once. I think part of the reason Leah and Corey have handled things so well is that they have such a strong support system - their families are involved in their lives and they have positive role models.
Corey's mom is a hairdresser and does Leah's hair the morning of the wedding. I get a close up look at Leah's horrible stripey manicure. Her nails are brown striped, which goes with the camo theme colors, and she mentions that the twins' dresses are brown. Every secondary character on the show makes a reference to the fact that Leah and Corey had kids before they got married ... which ... we know. That's kind of the point of the show, guys. But I'm glad you got lines this week! The other people who want screen time this week ask repeatedly if Leah and Corey are scared/nervous about the wedding. To be honest, even if I weren't nervous about something I would become nervous if like a dozen people kept peppering me with questions about it. Leah says that even though part of her wishes she were off at college with her girlfriends, she loves Corey and her daughters so much that she can't picture her life without them. I almost start crying. Instead of Leah being like a chick on Bridezillas, she tells her mom and the bridesmaids how beautiful they look in their dresses and shows off the girls to everyone. She seems like such a nice person. Considering that she spends most of her time caring for other people, no one would fault Leah if she insisted on making one day all about her, and she doesn't.
Corey and the groomsmen pose for photos, and they're sporting tuxes with camo-print vests and ties. On some people I would find this look trashy, but Corey is just so adorable that he can pull it off. His dad pulls him aside and gives Corey a knife that he kept with him during his days in the army, and I cry again. I'm almost relieved when they switch from Leah's segments to Jenelle's so I can stop feeling like a loser for crying during a teen mom's reality TV wedding. Corey's dad says how proud he is of Corey for stepping up and taking care of his family, and I'm sobbing buckets. "You was a good kid growing up, and you've turned into a real fine man," Corey's dad says. Corey is wearing sunglasses and looking at the ground, and I suspect that's because he is bawling too. (It's not like the guy is afraid of crying on camera, but still.)
Wedding! Despite the terrible color theme, the bridal party manages to look lovely. The bridesmaids have on sage-green dresses with brown sashes, and since they got married in October the colors make sense with the autumn landscape outside. Two of the attendants pull the twins down the aisle in a wagon, and it's absurdly cute. Corey basically weeps the entire time. Leah cries off and on. Leah's mom and her much-improved hair cry. The twins cry. I think I've cried so much I lost weight. They both manage to pull it together long enough to get through the vows and even crack smiles. They cut the cake, Victoria catches the bouquet, and then Leah and Corey dance with their kids. Then he carries her over the threshold. SO MUCH CRYING. And that's a wrap for this season, y'all.
