Asshole (n.): Someone who can get what they want– and get away with it.
Douchebag (n.): The last thing an asshole wants to be.
Asshole expert Chris Illuminati’s book A**holeology: The Science Behind Getting Your Way And Getting Away With It teaches you in great detail exactly why it’s worth becoming an asshole and how it can benefit you in every day life. His second book, A**holeology: The Cheat Sheet, takes this philosophy a step further, applying it to specific situations and helping you troubleshoot typical Asshole situations. However, Illuminati carefully differentiates what makes an asshole from what makes a douchebag. Assholes are acceptable, whereas douchebags are not, and here’s why: Being an asshole is really about not letting other people walk all over you. Being a douchebag is about walking all over other people. Assholes, for instance, can easily and efficiently dump an old friendship through subterfuge; a douchebag, however, lets other people do the dirty work for him or her, letting the dumpee hear about the problem second-hand.
So: How’s a person to tell the one from the other? That’s where we here at Crushable come into the picture. Using familiar examples, we have assembled a compendium of Assholes versus Douchebags to help you figure out what to do and what not to do in order to be a proper Asshole. Without further ado, here’s your guide to separating the Assholes from the Douchebags.