A Crushable Guide To Your Oscars Pool: Let The Most Annoying Film Win!

The Oscars are Sunday night. And in case you are a movie buff – or happen to know someone who is – you are likely to throw a few dollars into an Oscar pool this weekend.

Getting the most answers right is no easy feat. In fact, film critic Roger Ebert is offering $100,000 to whomever can get 100% accuracy.

What follows is not a guide to get every category correct. It is a general rule of thumb to follow if you want your pool to perform respectably.

My methods are simple:

1. Forget your own personal preference.

Many a pool entrant has been befuddled by their own opinions of film. It does not matter which movie you liked best. Moreover, it does not matter which movie actually was best. There exists a strange series of algorithms that go into choosing the winners of each category. The criteria include (but are not limited to!) the number of nominations a film has garnered, how often a person has been nominated in the past, and how well the participants in the film have kissed the asses of everyone in Hollywood and beyond for the past three months.

The next choice is key:

2. When in doubt, go with the more annoying choice.

The fact of the matter is that The Oscar wins exist to annoy people. When we all walk away from the ceremony Sunday night, there will likely be some major (and minor) annoyances that leave a bad taste in our mouths.

It happens every year. Yes, I’m talking about choosing Crash for Best Picture in 2006 over the much better and more politically weighted film Brokeback Mountain. (And I’m not even a huge Brokeback fan. I just really disliked Crash.) Then there’s the more obvious choice of Titanic in 1997 over far superior films like LA Confidential or GoodWill Hunting (minus the Ben Affleck parts).

Ok. Let’s get started!

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