• Fri, Feb 11 2011

Ke$ha Needs An OBGYN For Her Glitter Problem

Ke$ha is proof to the testament that if you put enough sparkles on something, people will buy it. We’re not even saying to be mean: the singer basically admitted the same thing during her recent Vanity Fair interview. Of course, when we think of glitter we don’t usually think of it shooting out of our vaginas, but that’s why we are not superfamous.

What’s your glitter budget for a typical year? It’s got to be in the thousands, right?

Honestly, it’s pretty exorbitant. It’s probably more like a few thousand every month. If you come and see a show of mine, there is no shortage of glitter. By the end, everyone from the back of the auditorium to the very front is covered and potentially choking on glitter. I am shooting glitter from glitter guns and out of every orifice in my body. It’s really a big part of what I do. It’s my goal to cover the planet in glitter and take the fuck over. I can’t do that if I don’t have a shit-ton of glitter.

Wait, did I hear you correctly? You’ve got glitter coming out of every orifice?

That’s right. I’ve found glitter in places that will not be named in this interview.

You might want to mention that to a doctor. Would you describe it as a glittery discharge?

No, it shoots out. And it’s coming from everywhere on my body. Let’s just leave it at that.

Of course, this exchange happened right after she says she wants to hang out most with that muppet who “lives in the garbage.” Snooki?

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