The guys over at OKTrends are back at it again! After determining that putting up ugly pictures of yourself will make more guys fall in love with you, the dating website has now perfected an algorithm to find out what you really want to know on the first date without you ever asking those painfully awkward questions like “Will you sleep with me, oh god, please?”
I don’t claim to be a mathematician (except on blind dates, when I think it will impress guys), but I’m still dubious about the logic in this study. Take the first example: If you want to know if someone will have sex with you on a first date, you should ask them if they “like the taste of beer.” Because there is apparently a correlation between people who like the taste of Hops and people who will hop into bed with you. Bad joke? Terrible joke. Look! Awesome chart!
Well…this logic seems solid enough, professor! But couldn’t an easier way to determine the same amount of slutty-to-alcohol ratio be to ask someone on a first date if they like any kind of liquor? Or if they frequently find themselves compensating for their nervousness by drinking to excess and then waking up the next morning full or regret? Or hell, even: “Do you like to party?”
We guess the point of this study was to find out stuff about your date in the least awkward way possible without being too obtrusive. No one wants to hear “Do you want to get drunk and smush?” on their first outing with a fella.
For ladies, there are some other questions you can ask to figure out if the guy you’re out with will have sex with you. (Although honestly, he probably will. You guys did meet online, right?) Unfortunately, these are also great indicators of whether or not you are out on a date with a sociopath. Check it: