Over the next two weeks we’ll be shaking things up a bit over at Crushable Books by giving you an exclusive sneak peak at an original essay from author Jill Kargman, whose new collection, Sometimes I Feel Like A Nut, comes out February 1st.
Sex With Nerds Pt. 1
Have you ever tried putting on lipstick from between your boobs à la Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club? Strutted the halls of your school with an angsty grimace not unlike a pre-nose job Jennifer Grey? Sure you have. You’re a girl. And chances are, like most female teens, at one time or another, your history notebook margin was littered with doodles of Bic®-ballpoint-drawn hearts. And the initials that resided with yours in inky cobalt destiny, were those of a Hottie. You know, a school-admired studmuffin. A catch. Your very own Jake Ryan. He who roamed the locker-lined halls getting bashful glances, whose table in the caf was the table to sit at, whose name was, for a time, synonymous with scorching. He was your very first fantasy, who made you wring out those elastic-waisted Calvins and jolted you with a pitter-patter in history class that was so loud you were thrilled band practice was happening next door so the timpani could mask the cacophony emanating from your horny ribcage. Depending on where you grew up, this could be the varsity jock (“s’up, dude!”) the brooding rocker boy (“down with the fucking man, man!”) or even the stage-strutting thespian (“Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon”). And while each of these potentially hormone-revving archetypes of sexiness can shatter the hearts and stirs the souls of the bepimpled set, I propose that the pre-drivers’ license posse get hip to a secret that will save them months—nay, years of brewing and strewing, hours of agony, and actually change their lives: Nerds Are Hot.