Fan Fiction: American Apparel’s Spring Training Guide For New Employees

We obtained an internal memo from Dov Charney to his staff!*

Hey Team,
Great getting to meet you all today. Thanks for joining our team! I want to reiterate how psyched we are to have such a forward-thinking group come in and be part of the street team for the nation’s largest retail manufacturer, American Apparel. As I mentioned in the meeting, we are 100 percent committed to moving forward with cutting-edge style and fashion, even as we face the challenges of slimmer financial resources this quarter. With that in mind, here’s our guidebook to some of the recent changes you’ll see at American Apparel!

Fall Designs
- We are looking into getting that material we use for our leggings for our new jacket line. If anyone can help us come up with a good name for this item, please email me immediately, as it turns out the term “jeggings” is already a thing.

- After listening to some customer focus groups, we’re looking into some more “seasonally appropriate” outfits. Start thinking about whether you and your friends could rock an authentic American-Indian headdress to compliment your purple micromesh full-body unitard. Is it ironic-offensive or just offensive? You tell us!

-With regards to our new giant skinned bear hat/scarf/cloak combo: Are cloaks still cool? And don’t worry vegans, we’re currently looking into finding out if there is such a thing as synthetic bear fur, since we don’t need PETA on our asses too.

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