Imagine the scene: Pop superstar Rihanna walks into a salon, starved for new hair inspiration. She looks up at the demo pictures on walls for help, but all the photos are tabloid shots of her own face. There’s Rihanna in long red locks, Rihanna in short red locks, Rihanna in a black-and-blonde mohawk, curls, and silky bangs. “There must be a hairstyle I haven’t tried yet!” Rihanna says to her stylist.
Resigned to the fate of boring hair, Rihanna stares at the television in the corner of the salon. It plays an old episode ofThe Simpsons. Bart skateboards, Homer eats a donut, and Rihanna grins — a real umbrella-ella of a smile. “That’s it!” she says. “I want to look like that guy!”
“Sideshow Bob?” the stylist asks.
“Sideshow Bob?” the children sitting in the waiting room wonder.
“Sideshow Bob,” Rihanna says, and then she she pulls a knife from her back pocket and scratches the words “Bart must die” into the mirror.
Bonus: Here’s a video someone made as a tender tribute to the love affair between Sideshow Bob (a cartoon) and Selma Bouvier (also a cartoon), because, well, it exists: