I was home for part of this week in Delaware, celebrating my grandmother’s 90th birthday and helping my mom out with her online dating profile. She was way too timid in approaching guys online, so she agreed to let me take over her account and start negging them. It was so much Catfish fun! My responses ranged from telling a guy we were top-hat fetishists to messaging one dude and saying “I also share an interest in not doing laundry, but I’ve only been dabbling. Looking to meet the right person who is interested in taking it to the next level. By the way, have you seen that show Hoarders? Just asking.”
Anyway: Mom, I think it’s time you cancel your J-Date subscription. I’ve found the perfect site for you.
You may have already heard of SeaCaptains.com, which is just one of a plethora of weird dating sites that make you wonder if this is all just some elaborate prank by some genius web designers. But it’s not! Sea Captains just celebrated its 3rd birthday and according to its CEO, Bill Kay, its only growing.
But unless you are serious about the site’s missive, don’t bother signing aboard. According to the site’s lead engineer:
“Our main challenge now is to keep the site growing while at the same time limiting fake captain profiles. While SeaCaptainDate.com has become extremely popular in sailing circles, which is great, we’ve also seen a surge in fraudulent accounts made by hipsters in Brooklyn and Hollywood. We’ve been deleting these “fake-captains”, but it’s hard sometimes keeping up.”
So unless you, like Caleb “Cuddlebear” here, are truly looking for love on the high seas, don’t bother making a fake account with a lot of “It’s driving me nuts!” jokes, please. Unless you want a lot of scurvy dogs emailing you and saying that they’ve got a plank right here.
(Video via Buzzfeed)