• Fri, Jan 14 2011

The Many Terrible Faces Of Sammi From ‘Jersey Shore’

Was the title of last night’s Jersey Shore ironic? As the second episode of the 3rd season, “It’s Going To Be An Interesting Summer” could have been an appropriate name if anything, literally anything had happened on the episode. Instead, we had another full hour dedicated to Sammi‘s spiral into clinical depression, which included a 10-minute dinner scene where she and Ronnie had so little to say to each other that the producers were forced to give the waitress lines. Seriously. “Would you guys like anything else?” and “Can I take your order?” were actual pieces of dialogue. So was “I will have the grilled chicken sandwich with broccoli rabe.”

Meanwhile, the rest of the cast has Sunday dinner and wonder what Sammi and Ronnie could possibly be doing. To make a perfect analogy, this would be like having a Passover Seder where you spent the entire time talking about Elijah. Don’t worry guys! Sammi and Ronnie are just staring at their sandwiches, not talking to each other! Even with your limited imaginations, you guys have seen Sammi and Ronnie at meals before, you don’t need to rack your brains to figure out how painful and awkward their relationship is. Enjoy yourselves! Because they aren’t!

And lets talk about those two for a moment (because we have to). Even though last night was really the lowest this show has ever sunk in terms of entertainment value, you can’t help but have a post-game discussion about Ronnie and Sammi’s horrible relationship. Because we all know a Sammi and Ronnie: the two friends that are miserable with each other, and not content to be miserable with each other alone. Instead they’re a constant presence in your lives, dragging down every occasion with their silent fuming and evil eyes, only to cut every outing short so they can go home and explode at each other. Jesus Christ, these two.

Anyway, Sammi is the worst, no doubt about it, but you also feel bad for her because the girl clearly needs some Lexapro. Just look at this GIF of all her angry, terrible faces!
Gif Created on Make A Gif

Sammi, we hate you, and you’re a drag on this entire program. You’re not even interesting-awful, like Angelina. Either leave the program and get some help, or fucking suck it up, girl. Because one more episode like this and we’re going to have to call it quits on this whole show.

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  • Sarah

    She has a fight with Ron and leaves the show in a couple episodes.

  • lala

    she is truly the most miserable person, i have ever seen. she has admitted to being insecure and it is quite obvious on the show, she is a jealous, snotty, miserable, hateful, ugly human being.

  • JBbabey6

    REALLY?!?! wtf? sammi is not always happy and either is any of u guys so STOP hating her!!! she sammi and that is how sammi is….. every1 is who r who they r. she doesnt mean 2 get into fights ppl just pi*s her off. just like ppl pi*s off me! so STOP hatin!!!

  • JBbabey6

    and dont b saying she is ugly and miserable. she is not!!!

  • priscilla

    That is soooo messed up. Sammie is so pretty. The prettiest Jersey Shore Girl if you ask me!

  • priscilla

    That is so messed up. Sammie is the Prettiest at of all the shore girls!

  • ebony

    sammi is the prettiest girl on jersey shore.