Spiderman Musical Is ‘Very Safe’ According To Star

So by now, you’ve probably made up your minds about Julie Taymor‘s Broadway death trap, Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark. Either you think the recent rib-shattering 30-foot fall of one of the stunt doubles is just more proof that this Goliath of a production is too dangerous to continue, or you’re a jerk. I don’t care if you sunk $65 million on a play, people are in intensive care with internal bleeding, you need to shut this shit down.

But of course, there are people out there who have a big stake in keeping this show alive. Say for instance, its star Reeve Carney, who doesn’t have to do any major stunts and is assuring everyone that the show is perfectly safe.

“It was an unfortunate event the other night, but the safety precautions have gone up even more since then and I’ve always felt safe.They’ve got a lot of people making sure things are even safer than they were.”

Okay, which is it, Reeve? Have you always felt safe, or are they finally taking more safety precautions? Because even if you thought they were taking enough precautions before, you should probably feel less safe now, knowing that they were doing the bare minimum in keeping your stunt doubles alive. Oh wait, you’re not doing major stunts? Well then screw it. It’s all good!

Of course, Damon Lindelof of Lost fame remains the worst:

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