In the 12 days leading up to December 25th, we’re rolling out a series of “Oh Shit It’s Christmas” features.
Yesterday, Liana made a case for hooking up with someone you know while home for the holidays. Let me just refute that argument with a quick little tale of caution, and then you tell us who’s right in the comments:
In high school, I really liked this guy. Actually, I obsessed over him: auditioned for the same plays he was in; followed him around; took a bunch of drugs and then incessantly talked about him to the point where my friends were like “We are so not getting you high anymore.”
But I was never the leading lady with this guy, and had to be content getting scraps of his attention. Fast-forward to a winter holiday home from college, after my first heartbreak cost me two months worth of sleep and about 15 pounds. Suddenly, my former crush was interested, either because I was hotter or cared less. Possibly just for the sheer novelty of it. “Awesome!” I thought, while frenching my dream boy.
Now, fast-forward past that, and it’s three years later. I’m still hooking up with this guy on my trips home from school, and this dude’s wife calls up, threatening to beat my face in with a hammer.
You know how people say you can never go home again? Well you can, and get laid while there. Just don’t expect it to live up to your expectations, like you’re going to reconnect with your high school beau, Hope Floats or Sweet Home Alabama-style. Best case scenario is that the guy you pined for got a life of his own while you were busy not waiting for him. Worst case is he didn’t, or is willing to chuck it aside for an easy score. And these people don’t go away, ever. Keep your past your past, and don’t taint fond memories for a roll in the hay that’s going to keep you avoiding your favorite bars every time you go back home.
To be fair, Liana also mentioned other types of guys you might hook-up with on holiday: brothers of your friends, friends of your brother, whatever. Like that’s going to be less depressing or messy? If you’re hooking up with someone you know even tangentially through family or friends that have known you since you were eating glue, the news will spread. Chances are that your “fun, one-night stand” will make it back to your parents before you can say “I’m an adult and I’ll sleep with who I like! Yes mom, that’s code for sex, and I’m having it! Yes, of course I use protection! No, his parents don’t know…you know what? I’m going back to school early.”