Last night was the premiere of Investigation Discovery’s new show Hookers: Saved on the Strip. And boy was it terrible! Not even in a hilarious way, but in a way that was just boring and sort of depressing. Sadface emoticon!
The show revolves around Annie Lobert, an ex-prostitute who founded Hookers for Jesus, a Las Vegas safe house that rehabs sex workers. Last night’s ep introduced us to a woman named Regina who’d been hooking for over a decade before deciding to get out of the game. As Regina hopped around from minimum wage job interview to minimum wage job interview, we began to get the impression that she has absolutely no skills — or even interests — whatsoever.
It didn’t even seem like Regina’s all that into sex! Both she and Annie talked about how’d they’d play the same trick on their… er… tricks. Apparently many prostitutes will ask for cash up front, give their client a quick handjob, and then run off before actually having intercourse. Who knew!
And now, on to the quote of the episode. Annie went home to Minnesota to spend some time with her family and shoot guns on her brother Chuck’s property. She introduced the camera crew to a tiny pet squirrel Chuck keeps in a cage and explained its origin:
“Chuck was trying to get rid of the squirrels, but then this one squirrel befriended him, and now he has a heart for squirrels! Isn’t that crazy? It’s kind of like an oxymoron!”
Yes it is, Annie. Chuck’s squirrel story is the jumbo shrimp of oxymorons.