Michael Pitt, What Are You Wearing?

(This is a new feature in wherein we dissect the outfits of Michael Pitt like an overly enthusiastic sixth-grader would a frog dripping with designer formaldehyde.)

You know how sometimes you’re on the bus late at night and you take a seat in the corner next to a guy who seems kind of fancy in a suit and then you look more closely and realize the suit’s way too big for him and none of the pieces match and instead of, like, loafers he’s wearing dirty boots with broken shoelaces, and then you catch a whiff of fried chicken and look down at his lap where a plastic container of mashed potatoes and dark meat is slowly going bad, but the guy’s not eating any of it because he’s asleep or mostly asleep or going through the motions of falling asleep and then waking up over and over again, and you realize the dude is totally nodded out on heroin, and it clicks that this guy is on his way back from meeting with like his parole officer or some government agency, so he’d cleaned himself up, put on his nicest clothes, got through the meeting and then promptly went and scored more drugs, but before shooting up he thought he’d try and get a meal in but he didn’t even make it to a single bite, and then, suddenly, you get super depressed about every single thing in the world?

That’s the vibe Michael Pitt was channeling at Hollywood’s Chateau Marmont the other night. It’s what we’ve decided to call “welfare chic” — but you know those glasses cost several thousand dollars and Michael has 15 different versions of those exact black boots sitting in his closet at home, each perfectly tarnished and scuffed, without a single drop of fried chicken grease on any of them.

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    • IdStillDoHim

      I’d scuff his boot…