You may remember last week’s post titled “American Apparel Wants to Destroy Halloween” about the shop’s gallery of incredibly lazy costumes. Not convinced that the extreme half-assedness of their dress-up options was sufficiently addressed, the fine folks over at Am Ap took it upon themselves to send an “emergency costume” in a bag over to our offices. Looking over the t-shirt, dress and sparkly leggings combo, we would have gone with “abstract costume” instead, but who are we to question the logic of Dov Charney. Inspired more by the bag than anything else, we created what is sure to be a staple of Halloween costumes for years to come: Slutty Baghead. Follow our (admittedly also half-assed) instructions and make one of your own.
Step 1: Place your bag on the counter. Check for sounds of ticking, hissing or other such tomfoolery.
Step 2: Open up your bag! A sturdy pair of scissors and a shocked expression may be necessary for this part.
Step 3: Examine the contents of your costume package. Brainstorm with your co-workers and recognize that mint green is just not your color.
Step 4: Become Slutty Baghead. First, worm your way into your suffocatingly tight XXXS American Apparel dress. Then cut eye holes in your bag — carefully, of course. After that, growl a couple times for good measure. Spooooky?
Step 5: Hop on over to your computer and type up a list of instructions so that others can experience the joy of Slutty Baghead. After that, um, go out and scare some kids or something. Boo!