In this chapter of Jersey Shore Cliffnotes, we’ll be tackling the issue of character development, for lack of a better term. At this point in the narrative, all of our anti-heroes have made complete breaks from their previously ingrained “personas,” leaving us watching a bunch of strangers. Sadly, only Pauly D. and his lackadaisical beat-dropping remains the anchor in this storm as we try to navigate the apparent group onset of schizophrenia that has taken over the house.
Perhaps in an ironic wink to the famed he Stanford prison experiment, the roles of prisoners and guards in this asylum have completely denigrated after Sammi and JWOWW‘s fight. Throughout the rest of the episode, we see continuations of such uncharacteristic behavior such as:
• Sammi’s ability to beat up JWOWW, the previously uncontested “hardcore biatch” of the house.
• Said beat-down apparently resolving any issues that she and Ronnie may have had, bringing them closer together than ever and bringing out the first smile we’ve seen from Sammi all season.
• The two queen bees of the household – JWOWW and Snooki – being exiled to their rooms while the boys cheer around the victorious Sammi.
• Vinny‘s little-bitch tendencies being called on the carpet by Angelina, of all people. (And the rest of the house more or less agreeing.)
• Said corner-backing leading Vinny to drop his normally chill persona and doing the unthinkable: Using a derogatory term for women as it applies to Angelina.
• The Situation‘s absolute refusal to get involved in any of the house’s drama.
And if we may backtrack for a second, please refer to your reference guide regarding the first ten minutes of the show if you find yourself confused. The events are as follows:
1. JWOWW (from the previous episode) says that Pauly is drunk while on the phone to her boyfriend.
2. Angelina overhears this, and tells the rest of the house (sans Michael, who may be hooking up with a tranny) that JWOWW is on the phone, talking trash about how drunk Pauly is.
3. Vinnie then goes back to JWOWW and reports on how Angelina was talking trash about how JWOWW was talking trash about Pauly.
4. JWOWW confronts Angelina, but is immediately blocked by Sammi, who takes Angelina’s side for no other reason than she has beef with JWOWW’s refusal to admit she wrote the letter accusing Ronnie of cheating on her.
5. JWOWW and Sammi fight, with Sammi getting one good slap/punch in.
6. Ronnie pushes Vinnie for instigating the fight between JWOWW and his girlfriend, although his original Iago-esque intention, one assumes, would to have JWOWW fight Angelina.
7. The bros make up – though now Pauly (as previously stated) has been outed for being a little tattle-tale and thinking that he is hot, when he might in fact not be as hot as he thinks he is.
8. No one comes out of this thing looking good, except for the Situation who doesn’t care; Snooki, who everyone feels a little bit sorry for; and Pauly D. for being completely clueless. Ronnie’s opportunistic tendencies to take fights that are, at the core, about his bad behavior, and turn them into a chance for him to white knight his “girlfriend” have turned him from a clueless lunkhead into a conniving douchebag. Which to be fair, is more interesting than his previous function as the household meat-head with the dumb laugh.