(Editor’s Note: In case you missed it, The X Factor saw an amazing boxing match break out between two young Brits — Abbey Johnston and Lisa Parker — during a recent episode. They later made up. Jessica Poolt‘s obsession with the duo has led her to dub them “Ablisa.”)
How do I love thee, Ablisa? Let me count the ways…
Abbey + Lisa = Ablisa. There’s a 100% possibility this is the first name that occurred to our fiery Anglo-Saxon Goddesses and they’re sticking to it. Despite the fact that they could have chose just about any name under the sun, we must admire their determination to operate under the laziest moniker of all time.
2. The Diptych Effect
“…And twinsss.” True soul sisters cosmically bound by their “I don’t give a f*#%!” attitude, Abbey and Lisa form two complimentary halves of the living, breathing human diptych of trash known as Ablisa. It’s excruciatingly apt that these two would be united in their comic quest to offend Natalie Imbruglia.
3. Renaissance of the Chav
Ablisa dares us, as Americans, to question everything we thought we knew about British culture (via stereotypes). Any associations we may have clung to regarding the Brits as either sophisticated, tea swilling literati or Kate Moss style, mod squad Londoners dissolved the moment Abbey’s left hook connected with Lisa’s sweet, crumpet filled cheeks.
The mere existence of Ablisa seems like an elaborate joke from the heavens and, therefore, must be capitalized on and exploited for lots and lots of money. If these cherub faced muses don’t manage to hustle a reality show out of this magnificent, Simon Cowell sanctioned display of fame-seeking crassness, I will lose all faith in humanity.