I’ve never been a big dater; I’ve had boyfriends (and two girlfriends), but most of them I met through friends or at parties, and our romantic relationships grew out of being friends first. Actual first dates, complete with jittery nerves, fashion angst and awkward conversation aren’t my forte. The whole trying-to-get-to-know-someone-in-an-hour thing makes nervous, and seems way too much like a job interview that something conducive to finding someone I could fall in love with. But since I’m 34, single and looking to be in a relationship, I figured I should finally give online dating a try, so I signed up for OkCupid and HowAboutWe.
The results have been mixed, but I want to share five things I learned about a Very Bad Date that might help you in the dating jungle. I had proposed the date – a free comedy show at the Knitting Factory in Brooklyn – on HowAboutWe. The premise of the site is that you either respond to cool-sounding dates, or propose your own. This was a show I’d been wanting to check out for over a year, so I figured I’d rather do so with company. It took us about a month before we were both free. I knew very little about the guy, but was excited about the prospect of meeting someone new.
Well, my expectations were on the high side – the very high side, as it turns out – but I’m still glad I went on the date. Here are five reasons why:
1. Getting Dressed Up is Fun No Matter What
That day, I put on a flower-pattern Yumi Kim dress, got a manicure and pedicure and – something that’s a challenge for me – managed to fit all my stuff into my shiny new red purse, so as to make a good impression, rather than lugging my usual three to four giant bags. My date didn’t say a word about what I was wearing; now, he doesn’t have to, and maybe he wasn’t impressed, but a small compliment goes a long way. But wearing the outfit and matching bag, taking the time to make sure I looked my best, made me feel good even if he didn’t appreciate it.