It’s hard to believe Crushable’s resident sex columnist Nikol Hasler - also the co-creator, writer and host of Midwest Teen Sex Show – has never been wax-waxed. (Then again, some prefer to keep a full bush.) Without further idea, Nikol’s true story of survival:
On the set of my latest project, a drama series called Nine, I spent an awful lot of time with the hair and make-up girls. As anyone who has been on a set can tell you, that’s where the scandal happens. Those women know a lot of juicy personal details about everyone they’ve ever slapped a layer of Mac onto, and that’s partly because they will talk about anything.
So, it wasn’t shocking to find myself in the middle of a very detailed conversation about waxing one day at the catering truck. I told them I don’t wax, and that ever since an incident involving an attempt to wax my own vag that ended with a lint attracting vulva and some bleeding, but the same amount of hair, I have stuck with my blades of glory for hair removal.
I’ve been shaving since I was 15. At times I’ve let some bushing out happen, but mostly I go hair-free. At times I shaved to the liking of a lover, but when I shave it tends to be for myself. I can’t stand stubble, though, and with shaving I pretty much need to do it every day if I don’t want my hoohoo to feel like your grandfather’s face around seven at night.
So, I looked around on Yelp!, found a place with a good rating and no horror stories, and called to make my appointment. In anticipation I gave myself two weeks of hair growth to pull from. If the hair is too short, it takes longer to wax and more tweezing is involved.
When I arrived at B.B. Wax Asthetique, I was surprised to find it just a single room with a table, a whole lot of expensive products, a metal vat of wax, and a beautiful French Canadian woman named Yana.
Yana instructed me to take off my pants and underwear and lay on the table, and I was even more surprised when she didn’t leave the room. Fair enough, as she was about to get really close and personal with the most private part of my body.
I’d been wondering all night how I would need to contort in order for her to get to all of the hair. Simple enough, I just needed to lay on my back and butterfly my legs open. It was a little bit uncomfortable, but only because I’m usually completely drunk before I let someone examine my vagina that closely. I’m fully aware that we’re all created differently, and I’ve spent some time with the hand mirror checking things out, but Yana is a stranger.
She started on the sides, letting me get a feel for what I was in for and after that first pull I was completely at ease. I’ve pulled off Band-Aids that hurt worse than that. While she was turning me into a bald eagle we talked about people who’ve had bad experiences.
“Some women are more sensitive,” she told me, “and you should not come five days before or five days after your period. The blood flow is all in this area then.”
She also told me that men are a lot whinier than women, but that nobody has ever had a severe reaction of pain. She recalled a young woman who came to her, quite nervous, because the first place she’d gone made her leave. They said she had too thick of hair and too much of it, so they wouldn’t work with her.
“It made me really sad for her that her first experience was like that. It is rude. Women come in and they trust you. It is your job and you chose to do it, so why would we want to make anyone feel that way?”
Something I noted – especially when she got to the inner lips and it was a bit more painful – was Yana does a job in which people pay her to do something she apologies for during the session. She said that bikini waxing is the one that hurts most, so while she tries to be very gentle, she doesn’t like knowing that it hurts.
At one point, as this beautiful woman was applying wax, blowing a little, and asking, “Are you ready?,” it seemed hilariously pornographic for something that was so non-sexual.
When we were through, I paid $35.00 plus tip, put my pants back on, thought about how I maybe should have put my pants back on before paying, and went home to examine my extremely red but smooth new look.
Waxing might not be for everyone, but for me it was pretty damn awesome. Waxing doesn’t make the hair grow back thicker like shaving. It left me smoother than I’ve been since I started sprouting hair, and it sure beat putting chemicals all over and waiting for them to slowly break down the hair.
My verdict is that waxing is a good thing. And now it’s time to call my boyfriend to see if he notices that I’ve done something different with my hair.