James Franco may actually be the ninth busiest person alive. He’s cast off the shackles of a traditional acting career and transcended into a the realm of the “self-actualized performance artist,” a creative visionary in film, TV, photography, and the written word. And what makes a great artist but a great subject? Powering all of his creative endeavors, James Franco has found a muse so fascinating, so ceaselessly intriguing that there is no end in sight to the different ways it can be evoked. That subject is: James Franco! On General Hospital, James Franco plays a mad artist named … Franco. His first solo art show, at New York’s Clocktower Gallery, featured old home movies, childhood ephemera, and pictures of himself in disguise. His short story recently published by McSweeney’s is about an actor (James Franco?). No doubt his dissertation in Yale’s English PhD program will be entitled Gender and Meaning in the Works of James Franco. Or just Franco Franco Franco.
What’s next in James Franco’s reign of unstoppable self-regard? Here’s a list of 9 possible jobs through which James Franco can continue to blur the line between the artist and his work:
- Sculptor who creates life size sculptures of JAMES FRANCO
- Gossip blogger who tirelessly reports the minutiae of the life of JAMES FRANCO
- JAMES FRANCO impersonator
- Reality show contestant looking for a lady on “FRANCO of Love”
- Host of the same reality show
- Fascist dictator of Spain
- Stock market analyst bullish about News Corp (Nasdaq: NWS), whose Fox Searchlight division will be distributing the movie 127 Hours, starring JAMES FRANCO.
- Mirror manufacturer
- Garbage man – but one who only takes out trash from the home of JAMES FRANCO.
Or as a 10th option, he could go back to acting. Maybe star in a biopic of – James Franco.
Anyone have an 11th option?