• Tue, Jun 29 2010

Textual Healing: Irresponsible Texting

Textual HealingText messaging might be the easiest and most convenient way to send a note to your friends, but when it comes to communicating with a guy, it can be anything but simple. Whether his messages are short and sweet or lengthy and in-depth, you’re usually left wondering: what is he really trying to say? And even worse, how do I respond? Here at Crushable we want to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge, textually healed.

This week, I thought I would share with you a text message story pulled from my own experiences. I’m a single girl myself, and when I’m out sometimes I’ll tell guys that I write a column about text messaging and dating. This frequently provides me with ideas to write about, and this time was no exception.

I was out at a bar one night with two friends and a group of four guys approached us. They expertly swooped in, and kept us occupied for the rest of the night. We ended up staying at the bar much later than expected, until the busboys were practically pulling the chairs out from under us. We parted ways, but not before I handed out my card to a few of them, and I ended up flopping into bed around 4:30 a.m.

Just over an hour later — right around 5:45 a.m. — my phone started buzzing. One of those very same guys was texting me. I was hungover and exhausted, and none too pleased to be woken up.

“Greetings from breakfast!” the first text read. It was followed by, “This feels like a responsible text, yah?”

While it was cute that this guy was seeking my approval on his texting M.O. from a self-proclaimed expert like myself, it was too much, too soon, too early in the morning. No, it was not a responsible text, and I was so pissed off at him for interrupting my sleep, I never even bothered to respond. I give him credit for his enthusiasm, but think he should have respected my sleep time. (Okay, yes, I could have turned off my phone, but you already know that’s not the way I operate.) The timing of the first communication after a first meeting is crucial, and this guy missed the mark for me.

What do you think is an appropriate time to wait before the first text? Do you get pissed off by people waking you up with text messages? Leave your experiences in the comments below, or send them to submissions AT crushable dot com and you might see them featured in the next installment of Textual Healing.

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  • Chris

    Honestly you just kind of sound like a bitch, or someone who is in dire need of a sense of humor. If someone writes me a text while I’m sleeping and wakes me up, I go back to sleep and respond once I wake up.

    • Jess

      I agree. I feel like he was trying to be friendly and maybe he was a little drunk himself too. That is no reason to write someone off so quickly. You obviously had fun that night if you stayed out so late & handed out your card. I wouldn’t be so quick to jump to conclusions.

  • Vanille

    I disagree with the poster above. God help whoever wakes me up with a text message or phone call in the morning (especially on a weekend morning).

    I also think the initial text after a first meeting should happen within 24-48 hours (and not before 10 AM). One quick text: “hey, nice meeting you, lets hang” is enough. When a guy texts me like 5 times in quick succession after we’ve just met, I file him in the crazy bin. Play it cool, yo.

  • mjness13

    It all really depends on how much I liked the guy. I do like my sleep, but texts don’t usually wake me up. I’m a pretty heavy sleeper.

  • pookie

    I don’t think the point here is that he woke her up — it’s that he sent a message mere hours after they parted ways, and it was supposed to be cute but just came out annoying. I guess there’s a fine line when it comes to showing someone you’re interested. If you just said goodbye at 4 am I would wait until 10 am or noon at least to say hi.