We’re all guilty of making lists of things we’d like our perfect guy to have — even if they are mental lists that we keep tucked away in the back of our brains behind the mental to-do lists and catalog of shoes we want to buy. Those lists are filled with things that we convince ourselves are dealbreakers — he has to be cute, and tall, and funny, and able to pay for dinner — but when it comes down to brass tacks, and that guy who you are just crazy about, that list starts to get a little fuzzy.
We’re all for needing someone to be loyal and funny and kind, but sometimes those little things that we hold on to are really not such a big deal after all. Maybe you just need a little perspective. Here, we’ve compiled some of the things we’ve thought would be dealbreakers, but have ended up being superficial and easily forgotten.
Maybe it’s socks with sandals, or loafers with tassels that simply drive you up the wall. But any guy’s goofy fashion taste can be easily corrected with a few well-placed gifts or shopping trips. Does he wear the same well-worn cargo shorts every day, all summer long? A little hint from you might go a long way to remedy the situation, instead of simply throwing up your hands and dumping him for being frumpy.
Differing political viewpoints
This one can be very tricky, but truthfully political beliefs don’t always have to be rooted in morals and ethics and anything that directly affects your relationship. So he voted for McCain while you voted for Obama, as long as you can both be adults and accept that people in the world can have differing opinions, you can talk through your differences instead of just breaking up. Think about it: do you have to be friends with people who only think like you? Sometimes a little variety or a different view of the world can be a turn-on.
You may like them tall and muscular, but if you found yourself intrigued by a short or skinny guy, would really turn up your nose? Perfect packages come in many shapes and sizes, you just have to be open to new possibilities.
Even if you’re as vain and shallow as they come, you have to admit that not all bald guys are unattractive simply because they don’t have hair. Take, for example, Vin Diesel. Or Bruce Willis.
Doesn’t get your pop culture references
It’s difficult to talk to anyone who has a different point of reference from you, whether its in terms of books or movies or reality TV shows. You can’t quote Shakespeare to someone who’s never heard of The Bard (if such people exist). But one thing that’s great about relationships is that you can introduce your significant other to all those things you love, and then he’ll understand what you mean when you say, “That’s a dealbreaker, ladies.”
Is your man too hairy or not hairy enough for you? If he’s open to it, a gentle hint from you could steer things in your direction. Or, you could simply learn you like something you never knew you could be attracted to before.
On a first date, that guy who chews with his mouth open may lose his chance to get a second date — unless his sparkling wit and flirtatious banter cause your pants to just fall right off. Once you’re hooked on a guy really like, you’ll have to learn to live with his no-shower weekends and farting in bed. Maybe you’ll even start to find his little (disgusting) quirks endearing.
Different levels of education
Just because a guy doesn’t have a college degree doesn’t mean he isn’t smart or would make good boyfriend material. And if you can verbally spar with a doctoral candidate even though you just have an undergrad degree, you should keep an open mind about the cute guy who pumps gas for a living.
Bad living situation
Maybe he lives at home, or in a dump of an apartment that houses the world’s grungiest shower. No matter, take him home with you and show him how to clean a toilet. Or, get him to hire a cleaning lady or look for new places to live. There are ways to work around it when you really care about someone.
Ah, the age-old dilemma. Yes, a long distance relationship is difficult and takes a toll on both parties, their lives and their friends. But if you just can’t live without someone, you can make it work.
What are some of your dealbreakers? Have you ever held hard and fast to something, only to realize it wasn’t such a big deal at the end of the day?