Are the years of childhood best friendships gone forever? Your school might be hoping so: The New York Times revealed today that some school officials discourage best friending because it leaves out other students and encourages cliques and overall Mean Girl-style behavior. But will it work?
Probably not, especially since teenage BFFs are usually forged on a one-on-one basis, the opposite of a clique. If you foster a community where a bunch of girls are thrust into a social scenario and told to be friends, that’s when you get the gang-ups and the back-stabbing. Don’t these adults know anything? We totally are with this psychologist here:
“No one can teach you what a great friend is, what a fair-weather friend is, what a treacherous and betraying friend is except to have a great friend, a fair-weather friend or a treacherous and betraying friend,” said Michael Thompson, a psychologist who is an author of the book “Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children.”
Exactly, you have to learn it the hard way: by having that best friend who turns on you during high school or college to join a larger, more popular group of kids. If anything, lets foster more one-on-one female camaraderie, and stop trying to make fetch teenage girl groups happen.