• Tue, Jun 15 2010

The Best Of … 6 Terrible Movies We Love

Here at Crushable we embrace the high and low aspects of pop culture — and sometimes that includes really crappy movies that are so awesomely bad, they’re worth multiple viewings. (Like skater movies featuring Christian Slater!)

We’ve compiled six of our favorite flicks that are simultaneously great and terrible:

Erin’s Picks:

I first watched the 2007 ABC Family movie Holiday In Handcuffs in my hotel room in Costa Rica. (Hey, it was either that or a Two And A Half Men rerun!). The film is not only groundbreaking, it had me and my mom howling as loudly as the monkeys outside our screen door. The plot: Melissa Joan Hart kidnaps Mario Lopez and takes him to her family’s mountain home for Christmas. A romance blossoms. Melissa’s wonky eye twitches. Mario pretends he’s into it. A cult classic is born.

Jon Voight in Anaconda. Make of this what you will. You won’t be disappointed. Here’s video of the actor’s best moments as a snake-chaser with a sick accent (via wittysparks.com):

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Amanda’s Picks:

Anything by Mel Brooks (see my Weird Celebrity Crush), like Robin Hood: Men in Tights.

And, embarrassingly, Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls. What can I say, I’m a sucker for stupid comedies with lots of physical comedy.

Drew’s Picks:

Freddy Vs. Jason is a brilliant Grecian tragedy masquerading as a lame Hollywood attempt at trying to bring to highly successful franchises back from the dead (sorry). If you think about it, Freddy and Jason are perfect enemies: Freddy died in a fire, Jason drowned. Jason Vorhees had his mommy issues, Freddy was always a metaphor for the terrifying father figures that terrorize little girls. This movie knows how campy it is, and makes good use of mid-aughts cliches like “raves in a cornfield” and “Jason Ritter.” This clip is my favorite Freddy sequence of all time: where he turns into the caterpillar from Alice In Wonderland to convince some Jay-and-Silent-Bob wannabe stoner to take a toke from his magic peace pipe. Seriously, WTF. (NSFW language, violence)

Starship Troopers: I’m not even sure if this counts as a terrible movie, because it contains so many goofy sci-fi tropes and celebrity cameos that its turned itself into a cult classic. Featuring Neil Patrick Harris post-Doogie Howser but pre-Harold And Kumar … so he’s in this weird, not quite self-referential phase yet, so playing a butch private in a squad of alien-bug-killing army forces isn’t a sly wink to the audience. He was just cashing his paychecks as a former teen star. Also, Gary Busey‘s son Jake in perhaps the only role where he isn’t a bad guy. You can tell just how much of a mark this film made on cinematic history by going back and trying to figure out whatever happened to Casper Van Dien‘s career. Plus the guy who wrote the book this movie was based wrote it as a  hard sci-fi analogy to his fascist manifesto (“about the necessities of war and capital punishment”), so I think it counts as terrible.

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