What should you do if a guy dumps you abruptly — you know like by having his dad call you and tell you the news over the phone? Teen star Demi Lovato is just finding out how to handle this awkward situation now, after Joe Jonas got his dad to break up with her this week. And on top of everything else her dating misfortune is being blasted across the tabloids and blogs. And to add even more insult to injury, she’s touring with the Jonas Brothers this summer, then promoting Camp Rock 2. We asked celebrity therapist Dr. Gilda to give Demi — and girls all over who suffer the same fate — some advice on how to get over her humiliating breakup and move on.
“I think we were introduced to being dumped abruptly with the Post It note on Sex and the City,” Dr. Gilda tells Crushable. “I think that any girl who was watching that — and I was addicted — recognizes that it’s very difficult for guys to say goodbye and they’re going to find the easiest way out, whether it’s a Post It or a quick phone call. But when he gets his daddy involved, I think that’s something that the girl should then say, ‘Oh, am I lucky this is over.’”
What advice would you give someone to get over an abrupt breakup?
If this is out of the blue, of course your in shock. And then you’re angry. But after the shock and the anger is over, you have to look at what you really had. Because if he can walk out that quickly, with so little remorse, you are so lucky to be rid of him.
Moving forward, how would you deal with your feelings of “why me?”
You have to ask the question: why did I even get involved with this guy? If he was a daddy’s boy, for example, why didn’t I see those signs? That’s something that you take into your next relationship, to open your eyes and be much more aware of all the signals to watch out.
How can Demi handle seeing Joe daily while they’re on tour?
It’s going to be difficult, but focus on why you’re touring. Focus on your job. Don’t focus on him. Understand that the best revenge is doing well. That should be your mantra. Just do well, stick to what you’re there for, befriend other people and look to find other guys. Not to make him jealous, but to make you happy. There is a big difference. That revenge strategy is only going to backfire on you.
It seems to reason that Demi might be afraid to be dumped abruptly again. How can she get over her fears?
If you figure that all these guys are going to leave you anyway, that puts you in the victim role. And if you think a new guy is going to dump you, guess what? He will. Because those are the vibes you’ll be giving out — I’m dumpable and I’m ready to be dumped. So be positive and be focused.
Learn more about Dr. Gilda on her website drgilda.com.
(Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images)