Crushable Questionnaire: “Big” Ben Mills

It’s been about a month since the scandal of Peaches Geldof‘s naked pictures and rumors of heroin and Scientology hit the web, thanks to Reddit user ThatCoolGuyBen. Associate Editor Drew Grant wrote about her personal relationship with Ben Mills, the man behind the story that spanned from Gawker to The Daily Mail. The furor may have died down a bit, but “Big Ben” is still a person of interest…and we were lucky enough to have him to talk to us about how he would like to trade lives with Terry Richardson, loves Speedos, and thinks Malcolm McDowell could pleasure a woman.

1. What’s your backstory?
Santa Cruz, CA to Brooklyn, then Israel, Europe, back to SF, then LA, South America, now back in Brooklyn.

2. Everyone has a “thing.” What’s yours?
This is a tough one. I don’t really have a single thing. I get new hobbies every few months but get bored pretty fast and move on. The only consistent “thing” I have is laying in bed, watching movies, while eating ice cream. Not many people see it but I do that everyday.

3. Everyone also has a karaoke song. Name yours (and don’t be shy).
Blister in the Sun by Violent Femmes. When I’m drunk enough I like to repeatedly grab my crotch and thrust it towards the audience. It always seems erotic at the time but in hindsight I look like a drunk fool.

4. Who are your biggest influences?
I try not to be influenced by anyone and instead be as independent as possible. The person who has had the biggest influence on my life is definitely my mom though.

5. What is it you most dislike?
People who take life too seriously and don’t realize we all die one day and might as well just have fun.

6. Whose job would you like to steal?
Terry Richardson. He totally gets to be pervy and get handies from young models and met Obama. That could be really fun. Though I saw him in AA a few months ago so if he’s stone sober doing all this that’s real creepy. So I’d steal a young Terry Richardson’s job, back when he was still going coke off models’ assholes.

7. What was your best date?
Any one that involves dinner before you get wasted and bone.

8. What was your worst?
Almost every date I’ve been on in the last year. (Editor’s note: Excuse me?!)

9. When I wake up in the middle of the night its because I’ve had a nightmare that I’m ___ .
Running but can’t run fast enough.

10. I feel my best when I’m wearing ___ .
A speedo.

11. Please settle the debate: New York or LA?
I didn’t know this even was a debate. Everyone knows New York is the best city in the world. Every time I’m in LA I get in trouble and have a shitty time, and I’m pretty sure I’m banned now.

12. What’s on your playlist at this very moment?
Anything by Morrissey. That’s how I wake up every morning.

13. What are you watching on TV?
I watch Lost because it’s the best show ever made. Also I’ve been watching How to Make (Sh)It in America so I can learn how to be a “cool” when I hang “downtown” but I’m failing at it so probably won’t watch season 2.

14. If you alone held the power to pick a boyfriend for Jennifer Aniston, who would you pick?
Malcolm McDowell. He may be old but he looks like he could eat a mean pussy.

15. Given the chance, would you rather hang out with George Clooney or Robert Downey Jr.?
I wish George Clooney was my dad, but I’d much rather chill with RDJ. Maybe we could invite Charlie Sheen over, get an 8-ball and handle some hookers.

16. If you were a character on any movie or TV show, past or present, who would you be?
Nick Nack from The Man with the Golden Gun. I love midgets, and he’s hands down the coolest one in show business.

17. What is your drug of choice?
Despite what the internet says I really just drink. I’ll dabble occasionally with the pills and powders, but nothing is as good as a few beers then going to sleep.

18. What’s the last thing you think about before falling asleep at night?
Once the Ambien kicks in I keep wondering why there’s so many people in my room, then why I’m on a boat, then finally I hallucinate that there’s spiderwebs all around me before finally falling asleep.

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