Oh, yay. As if suffering through the big-screen treatment of He’s Just Not That Into You wasn’t enough, now Summit Entertainment — the studio behind the Twilight movies — has snapped up the rights to a film version of the dated ’90s self-help guide Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, according to the Hollywood Reporter.
There’s, like, 17 different things wrong with this aquisition. Such as:n
- This book was hot in 1992. Like the scrunchie, we do not want.
- Rom-coms like He’s Just Not That Into You and The Ugly Truth exploit women’s insecurities about finding love to sell movie tickets — the ugly truth? Those movies are really shitty and produced by men who have no clue what women want. You know what we want? More Prada. Devil Wears Prada, that is. You know, something critically acclaimed that respects women and doesn’t shoot them down.
- You know what we also want? More Hurt Locker, less Katherine Heigl fulfilling gender stereotypes of women as shrill harpies who must defer to men in order to get married or something. But that’s been around since Pygmalion, yo.
- Matthew McConaughey will probably star.
- So will Justin Long, who has NO right not to be into Ginnifer Goodwin, OK?
- Filmmakers are citing He’s Just Not That Into You as inspiration. Not a good sign.
Anyways, this project stands to make Mars author John Gray even richer than he is now. Because there’s always room for lame rom-coms, if Julia Roberts agrees to make a 10-minute cameo.