• Sun, Apr 18 2010

Meet Kevin Huvane, Badass Hollywood Agent Extraordinaire

Stories about Kevin Huvane, who’s a partner at the mega-firm Creative Artists Agency, never get old. Although he lacks the near-mythic status of rival superagent-to-the-stars Ari Emanuel (otherwise known as “Ari Gold” on HBO’s Entourage), Huvane’s talent roster is no less impressive: after all, he’s got Jennifer Aniston, Tom Cruise, Sandra Bullock and OPRAH. So he wins, but then again, Huvane ALWAYS wins. (Zing!)

Huvane, a tabloid gossip fixture, has surfaced in today’s Page Six, which reports he was a big hit in Palm Springs last week:

Openly gay Huvane attended the desert resort’s annual White Party, one stop on the national gay circuit, and was surrounded by a bevy of bare-chested young men in a poolside VIP area at the Ace Hotel. One jealous older dude told Page Six, “He’s known for hosting a new crop of young men each year.”

Echoing the Emanuels — Ari and Obama sidekick Rahm Emanuel are bros — the name “Huvane” carries powerful weight in Hollywood. Huvane’s brother is Stephen Huvane, a high-powered flack who went rogue and helped found Slate Public Relations following last year’s merger between PR giants BNC and PMK-HBH, his former company. Stephen is also gay, and represents Gwyneth Paltrow and Anne Hathaway, among others. Don’t get on his bad side: He has held grudges against several mainstream media outlets for things, like, running a picture he didn’t like of one of his clients.

But back to Kevin. He commands enough clout to decide who is in and who is out among the glitterati — as when, last year, he booted Paris Hilton from a CAA party after she crashed it. It was a Golden Globes party too. At the time, Lainey Gossip reported Huvane lost his shit upon spotting Paris and searched frantically for security, calling out, “Who let her in? She is not invited, and somebody had better get her out of here immediately!”

But if you think Huvane’s standards are too high, think again: He once threw a birthday party for Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis, scourge of humanity and affront to womanhood, when Francis got out of prison. Deadline Hollywood’s Nikki Finke surmised the party might have been payback for Francis letting Huvane stay at his luxe Mexican home during the holiday season.

Then again, everyone has a scuzzy friend or two. They don’t have scenic compounds in Punta Mita, but whatevs.

After so many years and power plays in entertainment industry, Huvane’s reputation precedes him — so much so that someone has actually taken the opportunity to write fan fiction about him. This writer imagines a tense business meeting between Huvane and Jake Gyllenhaal, who is at the risk of being typecast in gay roles. Here’s our favorite part:

Jake looks down at the script on his lap. “Tough guy. Good. Nine million. Good. I’ll read it,” said Jake.

“You’ll do it,” said Huvane, who caught himself and then smiled.

“Thanks, Kevin. Thanks for helping,” said Jake.

“Think of it this way. You are taking in nine million. That means you are a tough guy, and that is how Hollywood will see it,” said Huvane.

“Money talks,” said Jake.

“Money defines,” said Huvane.

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