Text messaging might be the easiest and most convenient way to send a note to your friends, but when it comes to communicating with a guy, it can be anything but simple. Whether his messages are short and sweet or lengthy and in-depth, you’re usually left wondering: what is he really trying to say? And even worse, how do I respond? Here at Crushable we want to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge, textually healed.
I must admit that I am no expert in “sexting” — that tricky combination of text messaging and cybersex. However, I have had some experience with the medium, which can range from flirtatious texts to graphic exchanges to provocative or naked photos that have a nasty way of making their way to the Internet (hello, Vanessa Hudgens). Personally, I find any attempts at a sexy text exchange awkward, and what’s worse there’s a written record of your extremely awkward conversation. No matter how sexy something might be the first time around, anything I would only willingly participate in drunk is not something I want to relive the next day.
But no matter what my own thoughts on sexting are, I think we could all use a helpful guide to the medium. After canvassing some close friends and sources, I have come up with some do’s and don’ts:
Don’t attempt sexting with someone who you don’t trust. And never, ever send photos unless you really, really trust a person. Even a boyfriend can show his cell phone to a friend, post it to Facebook or a blog or even save for later use. And if you ever become famous because of your time spent on a reality show, then you’re really in trouble.
If you do choose to send photos do try for unique shots that don’t show your face or any identifying marks. Maintain complete deniability while getting creative at the same time.
Do be flirtatious but not too forward. As with real life interactions, it’s fun to be the pursuer, but you can be pursued from time to time as well.
Do go only as far as you’re comfortable. Don’t let a guy talk you into saying or doing something you don’t like. And remember, there will be a record of your conversation when you’re one, which you or him, could use for other purposes afterwards.
Do end the conversation if you feel icky. But, on the other hand, if you’re having fun, go with it.
Don’t share it with your friends. Hey, you wouldn’t want him to do it either.
Or, forget it all and do what my one friend advised: “Just don’t do it!”
Now it’s your turn. Do you sext? Have you ever had a bad experience? What advice would you give others? Send your sexting stories to Crushable through submissions AT crushable.com, and you might see your experiences featured in a future installment of Textual Healing.