Between The Lines: Beyonce Would Never Tweet Her Pregnancy

Does Beyonce even have a Twitter? If she did, perhaps she’d help officially clear up all those pregnancy rumors of late — or perhaps she’d confirm that breathless report from MediaTakeOut that cited a “ROCK SOLID source” as saying B and Jay-Z are expecting their first child. While Beyonce denies, we smell a whiff of the truth: Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, right? Then again, we may be wrong — and we’ve been wrong about these things before (hi, Eva Longoria!).

As any good tabloid reader knows, babies have been big business for the celebrity news media and celebrities themselves: Brangelina scored $14 million for charity from People magazine in exchange for handing exclusive rights to photos of their newborn twins; Gwyneth Paltrow struck a deal with hired photog Steve Sands to snap baby Moses in Central Park, ostensibly so the paps would stay away once the first photo of the boy was published (thus driving the market price down for Moses shot); then, at the height of the celeb baby-photo trade, People won a bidding war with OK! magazine and secured exclusive images of Christina Aguilera’s son Max for some $1.5 million. Turns out that was a colossal waste of money, because nobody at the newsstand really cared as much about Christina’s baby as they did Brangelina’s brood.

And suddenly, as the recession began wiping out magazine budgets and public interest in celebrity babies from the A-to-the-D-list waned, the publishing industry began scaling back and focusing more on the salacious goings-on of reality stars, the Gosselin trainwreck, the Kardashian family’s exploits and Heidi Montag’s plastic surgery.

So now, as the blogosphere buzzes about Beyonce, the notion that the superstar may indeed be pregnant comes as a welcome (and happy!) diversion from Jon and Kate and Khloe Kardashian. And while details of trouble in Brangelina-land surface anew each day,  Angelina Jolie — ever the Earth Mother-adventuress — has sparked chatter that she’s with child again after getting sick on the set of The Pacific. We call foul on that — it’s too soon after six kids, no? — but we sense a growing interest in celebrity babies for two reasons: 1) Happy news that happens to good people is an escape from Kate Gosselin and other bad eggs and 2) Happy news that happens to A-listers like Beyonce and Angelina is infinitely more interesting to the public than pregnancies belonging to, say, Rebecca Gayheart, who was caught on video in a compromising position, or even Bethenny Frankel, who is far too accessible to be remotely interesting anymore.

This week, screenwriter Diablo Cody, who is expecting her first child with husband Dan Maurio, tweeted about it: “No secrets here; just thought it would be fun to see how big I could get before someone noticed.”

Kind of funny that no one did before! Indeed, in recent photos Diablo shows a visible bump (to steal a word coined by Janice Min). But then again, her role as a writer grants her a certain level of anonymity.

Beyonce, however, will always be under bump scrutiny. And if the economy turns around, she might get paid for the first breaking photos.

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    • dadapapadada

      Beyonce is a wonderful Haitian woman.