We can’t lie: Justin Long is kind of adorable. So ya know, we were out and about last night, and just happened to be in the area when Justin played DJ/sidekick at our comedian friend Seth Herzog’s “Sweet” standup show. Stalky, we know. That’s him on the right, pointing.
Anyways. Justin and Seth did a dramatic reading of a series of texts between Justin and a tween named Geraldine, who mistakenly texted the Drag Me To Hell actor a few weeks ago.
“Recently I received a text out of the blue. .. Every once in a while I get these and it’s usually either a friend of mine just fucking with me or it’s somebody truly random who got my number,” Justin said.
The initial text, via Geraldine: “Hey r u there? I need to tell you something. It’s really important. It’s a major of life or death.”
Justin — sick with “nothing to do” — replied, “Who is this dramatic person?” This text spurred Geraldine to respond, “Haha, I’m sorry for once I told you at school today. … pisst off when I don’t know why. It’s Geraldine, fyi.”
So Justin, still under the impression someone was messing with him, texted, “oh snap, lol, I thought you were a crazeeeeeee person.”
What followed was “like five days straight of texting with this girl who is an actual tween,” Justin told the comedy crowd (which was packed with awwwwwwing women). “Yeah, like, adorable. Turns out she thinks I’m her friend Eduardo … At one point in our conversation, she called me out for misspelling Justin Bieber.”
Photos of the incriminating texts — which Seth showed via projector screen — are incoming.
And Geraldine, if you’re out there, come forward!
UPDATE: We’ve obtained a blurry photo as proof these texts exist. This shot is so blurry, in fact, that only Superman has the ability to read the iPhone blurbs. That said, a close reading confirms they do match the dialogue above. And Justin, if you’re listening, this is all in good fun. Also, the “Sweet” comedy show happens every Tuesday at 9 p.m.