When I was in college at the University of Illinois, girls would wear lingerie-inspired tops, flaunt their va-va-voom cleavage and get all kinds of attention from the opposite sex. Meanwhile, I could not compete: My chest is flatter than flat, and as Debra Messing once quipped on Will And Grace, “As I hard as I push them together, there is no crease” or something to that effect. (I feel you, Debra!). My lack of boobage was a liability on my campus. One time as I walked down Green Street, a stupid frat boy yelled out, “You need bigger boobs!”; I retorted, “You need a bigger dick!” Not that I knew, of course, but that was the only response I could muster at the time. His words stung, and I began to cry.
Why is being flat-chested considered unsexy and a flaw? And while we’re judging here, why do girls think that busting out in tacky going-out-gear is sexier than covering up in a striped boatneck top?
My idea of sexy was different, obviously. While ample breasts generally ruled on campus, I began to embrace my perceived flaw as a positive: I would never have back problems, like my DDD-cup classmate who was forced to get a breast reduction or face serious health issues down the road; guys would ALWAYS stare at my face instead of my rack (seriously, this must be annoying for you well-endowed ladies); and, if I wanted to, I could wear low-cut things without looking like JWOWW from Jersey Shore.
Although thousands of A-cups get plastic surgery to transform into C-and-D cups, that was never an option for me. I can’t really afford them but also, believe it or not, I’m happy with what Mother Nature gave me. And it has been infuriating for me to watch young women succumb to societal pressure to “go bigger” and thus sexier; Heidi Montag, half of Hollywood and possibly Ali Lohan are leading this charge, and more women are jumping on the plastic-surgery bandwagon/epidemic.
So upon learning that the fourth installment of Pirates Of the Caribbean requested that actresses submit to a jiggle test to prove their breasts are real, I felt immediately validated! Finally, movie producers and image makers were laying down the law: No fake boobs allowed. This is a step in the right direction since American marketers digitally enhanced Pirates star Keira Knightley’s breasts for promotional material. And it’s another positive step toward building women’s confidence to embrace what they have — even if they got nothin.’
Do you have a flat chest, and are you tired of the national preference for bigger boobs? Want to grow self-esteem without surgically growing your cup size? Look no further than such mosquito-bitten stars as Keira, Debra, Kate Hudson, Selma Blair and Cameron Diaz.
That should shut up the haters. Got a story to share on this topic? Please leave your comments below!